Broken Engagement

posted 1 month ago in Traditions
  • poll: New Fiancé old wedding plans what to do
    Keep your dream wedding theme and ideas : (7 votes)
    17 %
    Start Fresh with everything : (5 votes)
    12 %
    Consult new fiancé : (27 votes)
    64 %
    Change dress, venue, ring style : (3 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 2
    Hostess
    8206 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: Dorset, UK

    Maybe consult your new man. You don’t want him to feel like he is just a substitute and less important than the shit that doesn’t matter like colours and flowers etc. It stands to reason you might still like the same things but please try and include him in the planning process so he doesn’t feel like he was simply the last piece of the wedding puzzle. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    2625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2018

    I had that feeling too. But then, I realized that even though I still loved all those things, I didn’t want my memories of my wedding to have anything to do with my ex. I found other things I loved just as much.

    Talk to your fiance and see what he says. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2457 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Your wording is confusing — are you actually engaged? How long have you been with this guy? You say you reconnected with someone who “could be the one” (new relationship? doubts?) and then that he wants to start planning a wedding. By that do you mean he’s asked about your preferences and thoughts on weddings, or that he has actually proposed marriage and wants to book vendors? You also mention ring styles so I don’t get the sense you are engaged yet. If that is correct, I’d take a step back. Cross this bridge after you’ve come to it, and make sure this is the right relationship before you rush into planning. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    7862 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I had the same questions. Maybe I’m missing something OP, but it seems like there are much bigger issues to be  contemplating than wedding decor, assuming this is someone you only recently “reconnected with”? browneyedgirl24 :  

    Post # 6
    Member
    1309 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have to agree with browneyedgirl24.  It doesn’t sound like you’re engaged yet, just talking ideas.

    I was engaged previously myself and still liked a lot of the same things when I got engaged the second time.  But I didn’t not want to replicate what I had previously.  I had broken the first engagement 2 months prior to the wedding so I really did have everything in place.  My husband pretty much gave me free reign to do whatever I wanted, but I made sure to do things differently so that he didn’t feel like he was just plugged into my wedding vision.  Even though if I’m honest with myself I liked my first choices better, I liked what I planned the second time just because of my husband.

    Post # 7
    Member
    86 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2021 - City, State

    JenGood11 :  Honestly do you, and by that I mean both of you. Perhaps you will find your FH will have something in mind that will change your vision in a direction you wind up loving (this is ehat happened with me and my FH).

    Good luck, bee!

    Post # 9
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee

    “could be the one”?    make sure you’re more interested in the marriage/man than the dream wedding.  If that’s the case, then sure — if those were things you liked, talk them over as you two make wedding plans together.

    Post # 10
    Member
    948 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

    JenGood11 :  “He wants to start planning a wedding”. Does that mean you do as well? Are you guys engaged yet. You just recently connected. If your not engaged yet it may be sometime before you do and your thoughts might change.

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