- 4 years ago
So i know its my first post….but i feel like idk what to do….I was engaged for 3 weeks before it was called off by her brother. We got engaged December 28th. We got into an argument about how i felt like she was giving me half of her.. what i mean by that is that i felt like our relationship became all physical but emotionally she was disconnected. Out of anger i blurt it out i am not marrying you in your church. I am catholic she is orthodox to her it was a big deal her mom eventually found out and let it slide for a few days then asked her again while i was at work if i changed my mind she told her no not until he sees a change. She got upset and called my fiancee brother. He is the man of the family since her father is not around. He calls my fiancee and they talk for hours..i did not know cause i was at work before i know i get a text from her brother saying im not worthy of her sister and that its over and that ill be getting my ring back from him. She ended up telling him all the issues we had from the begging of our relationship. (we were together for a year and half before i proposed)
Few days roll by i confince her to see me i end up at her place we talk and shes all over me holding on tight to me and she initiates the getting busy part…after i ask her multiple times is this what you want you and i? she says yes i will talk to my brother tonight when i see him, few hours roll by and i get a text from her saying its over…my family doesnt want me to be with you. So i stop talking to her
a couple days later i end up not going to work because i am just out of it so i am like let me try to fix this. I go buy her nice expensive flowers and drive to her job she refuses to see me saying i cant see you joe and im not supposed to talk to you…so i leave the flowers by her car its a dozen roses with a vase so it was big…i leave….she texts me thank you for the flowers but doesnt not fix anything so i call her sister and brother in law appologize and telling them i do care about her and want this to work…their like we know we love you you guys are adults work it out….her brother on the other hand just keeps telling me not to talk to her. Few hours later she calls me to find out with her sister and brother in law and i feel like wow i got her somewhat back, before i know it her mom calls her finds out shes on the phone with me calls her brother…and her brother calls me telling me ill call the cops on you if you do not stop talking to her…..So i end communications i do not have a record and do not want to mess with my future since i am in my career.
FeB 4th comes its snowing heavy out i call her to leave her a vm to let her know please becareful (i used to call her every morning to tell her how the weather is so shes prepared) i get a text saying thank you, you too. over the hours i get her to talk more and she tells me that she does care but doesnt think it will work. We keep talking and she tells me shes not feeling good and she has to go. So i was like ill be nice and clean off her car since she didnt go to work, she does not live far from me i clean the car and leave she texts me i appreciated and talks to me on the phone and tells me the main reason we broke up was because my father (she thinks he gets to involved and too opionated but yet she wants to feel like my father cares about her) she says i need time to think so we hang up and thats that.
Next morning rolls around i say morning, she says goodmorning i have to talk to you. Calls me while i am at work telling me her mom is so pissed because i went to the house uninvited . She told her she didnt know who cleaned the car because she didnt want me to get in trouble. Few hours go by i get a call from my father telling me her brother called him at work telling him hes going to call the cops if i keep harassing her.
So since 02/05 i have not contacted her and she hasnt talked to me since her call warning me.
Our issues : Religion (but i did agree to convert, i said it out of anger i wouldnt), Money ( she believed the guy always had to pay and that she never had to spend a dime), She thought that i had to buy my own wedding band (Everybody i know the bride to be bought it for their husband to be) , my father (he gets involved too much, even though she wanted him to be more caring)
SO….her family probably destroyed anything we could have salvaged…She was engaged previously (broke up because he used to physically abuse her and cheated on her)….she told me that she wanted this to be the final engagement for her….but yet did not fight or defend me at all….
So question is even if i do NC do you think it will work…
(last thing any time we fough she would never me the one to salvage anything but run, while i did the opposite)
Sorry i wrote a really long one before but got deleted so i tried to write something as detailed as possible.
She says she cant be with me cause her family is not approving, and her brother is saying she is the one that does not want to be with you….so confused….everybody tells me i am way to good for her. So why do i feel this way.
Update: yesterday when my brother called your dad, your dad didn’t even try to talk to him and tell him lets make things work, NOTHING!…all he told him was ohh Joe does silly stuff like that but I apologize and I will talk to him.”
We were both on Skype so I figured to tell her she won’t hear from me again and that’s what she told me…. When I told her why would he say that when he’s threatening to call the cops…. Then I was like my father and family didn’t treat you this way she replied with
Your dad doesn’t like me and I don’t believe it for a second and my mom heard him first hand and she was the one defending him…. Which is bs because he told me what he told her
She used to argue with me to be engaged and how she wanted for us to finally get settled down…..i do not know what to do anymore….
Her brother is a couple years older than me is married and has a child.