Post # 1
Ok so if you read my last post you’ll know me and my Ex ended our engagement mainly due to me but we have to live in the same house until next year. Mainly me that wanted it ended , well all me , but he just wasn’t putting in effort, I’m in school busting my butt, taking care of the house and dogs while he dropped out to work as a waitor and all he wants to do is party with his friends whom are very disrespectful to me and is all he spent time with. So even though he claims i’m the reason for the split, it’s really because I was already being treated like I was single besides the fact he’d be there at night.
Well now things are settling down and I’m starting to get sad. THinking about the future we had planned and I can’t seem to remember all the bad cause all my mind wants to think about is the good even though I wasn’t content and hadn’t been for a while.
Is this normal after ending an engagement? Does this lift after a while?
I just hate that I’m working so hard to finish school, get a good job, so I can start a family and have a descent life and he’s out playing and calling me ignorant for ” not understanding him and his friends”. Now i’m sad and question if I did the right thing cause I miss him lately and only remember all the good and with the holidays coming up. It’s only getting harder.
Anyone done this before? Have any words of advice? Sorry it’s so long but I just need to hear others opinions besides what’s going on in my head!
Post # 3
@TxAggie15: I wouldn’t want a man that referred to me as ignorant no matter what I did or did not do…this guy chose his friends and a nightlife over a future and family, he’s a shitheel, and I’m sorry.
What your feeling is totally understandable though, and I don’t think it’s really him that you miss or want, but what he represented in your mind….the man you were going to marry, start a family with and live your years on this Earth in tandem with…but honey, you backed the wrong horse and that fella is a ball slappin nag just gunning for the glue factory if I’ve ever seen one.
Let yourself morn what is lost, and chalk it up to one more step toward that gorgeous, fabulous, reliable stallion who’s just been waiting for you to show up!
Keep your head up, because we all make mistakes and have problems kitten, it’s called learning!
Post # 4
It’s totally normal. Been there, done that. There were problems galore in my previous relationship, it was time for it to end. Even so, when the dust settled i still missed him. I missed the partnership. It’s human nature to remember the good times, like looking through rose colored glasses. You know it wasn’t the right fit, and you made the decision to end it. Stay strong, stick with it, and you won’t regret it in the long run. Do not allow yourself to fall back into old ways b/c you miss it. You’ll be right back where you started, then you’ll miss being single! Give it time. <hugs>
Post # 5
@TxAggie15: I think it’s perfectly normal and natural to question a decision of that magnitude.
Your were prepared to spend your life with this man, and just finished ending things. Try to distract yourself and not get too caught up in the what if. You ended things for a reason, and you will find the right man for you.
Post # 6
@Nona99: I agree. I was appalled that he calls me ignorant. and the fact that he can’t have a mature conversation without throwing a fit and calling names! And yeah I just need to get my mind off on something else and think about making me happy! Thanks for the support!!!
@The_Future_KB: I’m glad to hear someone else made it through. I figured it was just my mind playing tricks on me.I’m going to try really hard just to live it up and not go back to me doing everything in a relationship that was really just me in the first place.
@drummerbride: Thanks to you too for your support!!! Yall are all right! It’s great to hear it from others!!!!
Post # 7
Its totally normal…& its going to be hard for you to heal, especially living together…i broke off my engagement for a few months…at first i was destroyed, even though it was my decision…then i felt ok, but some days it would just hit me..we worked it out after a few months & have been happily married for six months…he did a complete 180
the best way to get over this would be not living together…i had to leave the home we shared behind but i got through it
stay strong!! Life is too short to be anything but happy
Post # 8
Yes, definitely. This is one of the stages of a break up. Just try to remember the reasons why you were ultimately unhappy.
Post # 9
It is normal to look back with rose tinted glasses and only remember the good, but obviously there was enough bad for you to end it. It is totally normal to be feeling these things. x
Post # 10
So normal to feel that way – trust me!
I ended a relationship that needed to be ended a couple years back. I was devastated, even though I knew it was right. And from time to time, I do think back and miss the good. And for a long time I forgot the bad, especially right away. That’s totally normal. You don’t want to think about the bad, even though you know and you’ve shared with us, and we can all confirm it wasn’t a good situation. But that doesn’t mean you forget about the good times. I still, at this time of year (yes holidays can be especially good for this) think about the short period of time that relationship was wonderful and happy and I miss that. But only that.
You will be fine, and things will get so much better! Promise you. But a suggestion. Make a list of the bad times. When you are thinking of all the good times and start to question your decision, bring those out and they will bring you back to reality. Keep the list handy for this!
In time, you’ll heal and get to experience all new, even more wonderful good times with a better person who is better for you. Good luck!
Post # 11
It’s completely normal to feel like this and all a sudden, *BAM!* you see the silver lining.
My ex, whom I was engaged to, was immature as your ex. His motto was, “Bros before hos”. (I should’ve ran when I heard that.) He went out all the time; and then, brought his friends over to hang out all night. I’m also a big believer that you are who you’re friends with. And, if his friends are like this, they’re most likely bad influences. My ex cheated on me and that kind of behavior was cool with his friends. I say, good riddance!
You deserve so much better. Good luck!