(Closed) Broken Engagement After Effect Help?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
5958 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@TxAggie15:  I wouldn’t want a man that referred to me as ignorant no matter what I did or did not do…this guy chose his friends and a nightlife over a future and family, he’s a shitheel, and I’m sorry.

What your feeling is totally understandable though, and I don’t think it’s really him that you miss or want, but what he represented in your mind….the man you were going to marry, start a family with and live your years on this Earth in tandem with…but honey, you backed the wrong horse and that fella is a ball slappin nag just gunning for the glue factory if I’ve ever seen one.

Let yourself morn what is lost, and chalk it up to one more step toward that gorgeous, fabulous, reliable stallion who’s just been waiting for you to show up!

Keep your head up, because we all make mistakes and have problems kitten, it’s called learning!

Post # 4
810 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Nona99:  +100

It’s totally normal. Been there, done that. There were problems galore in my previous relationship, it was time for it to end. Even so, when the dust settled i still missed him. I missed the partnership. It’s human nature to remember the good times, like looking through rose colored glasses. You know it wasn’t the right fit, and you made the decision to end it. Stay strong, stick with it, and you won’t regret it in the long run. Do not allow yourself to fall back into old ways b/c you miss it. You’ll be right back where you started, then you’ll miss being single! Give it time. <hugs>

Post # 5
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@TxAggie15:  I think it’s perfectly normal and natural to question a decision of that magnitude. 

Your were prepared to spend your life with this man, and just finished ending things. Try to distract yourself and not get too caught up in the what if. You ended things for a reason, and you will find the right man for you.

Post # 7
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Its totally normal…& its going to be hard for you to heal, especially living together…i broke off my engagement for a few months…at first i was destroyed, even though it was my decision…then i felt ok, but some days it would just hit me..we worked it out after a few months & have been happily married for six months…he did a complete 180

the best way to get over this would be not living together…i had to leave the home we shared behind but i got through it

stay strong!!  Life is too short to be anything but happy

Post # 8
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yes, definitely. This is one of the stages of a break up. Just try to remember the reasons why you were ultimately unhappy.

Post # 9
6081 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2019

It is normal to look back with rose tinted glasses and only remember the good, but obviously there was enough bad for you to end it. It is totally normal to be feeling these things. x

Post # 10
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

So normal to feel that way – trust me!

I ended a relationship that needed to be ended a couple years back. I was devastated, even though I knew it was right. And from time to time, I do think back and miss the good. And for a long time I forgot the bad, especially right away. That’s totally normal. You don’t want to think about the bad, even though you know and you’ve shared with us, and we can all confirm it wasn’t a good situation. But that doesn’t mean you forget about the good times. I still, at this time of year (yes holidays can be especially good for this) think about the short period of time that relationship was wonderful and happy and I miss that. But only that.

You will be fine, and things will get so much better! Promise you. But a suggestion. Make a list of the bad times. When you are thinking of all the good times and start to question your decision, bring those out and they will bring you back to reality. Keep the list handy for this!

In time, you’ll heal and get to experience all new, even more wonderful good times with a better person who is better for you. Good luck!

Post # 11
1719 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s completely normal to feel like this and all a sudden, *BAM!* you see the silver lining.  Smile

My ex, whom I was engaged to, was immature as your ex.  His motto was, “Bros before hos”.  (I should’ve ran when I heard that.)  He went out all the time; and then, brought his friends over to hang out all night.  I’m also a big believer that you are who you’re friends with.  And, if his friends are like this, they’re most likely bad influences.  My ex cheated on me and that kind of behavior was cool with his friends.  I say, good riddance!

You deserve so much better.  Good luck!

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