Broken engagement & being single at 26

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: How soon after major breakup did you meet "the one"?
    6 months or less : (51 votes)
    55 %
    A year : (23 votes)
    25 %
    2 years : (12 votes)
    13 %
    5 years + : (7 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    7644 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    26 isn’t old. I’m a Christian and I waited, and though I was married by the time I was your age, I have a number of Christian friends who didn’t until their 30s. There’s nothing wrong with that. You ARE worthy, but it’s a matter of meeting the right man.

    Post # 3
    Member
    2704 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

    I didn’t meet my now Darling Husband until I was 32.  Try not to be too hard on yourself – this obviously wasn’t the right relationship for you but the right man will come along.  It’s hard, but you are worthy; gaining some independence (which it sounds like you’re doing) will help you gain self-confidence and that will help you when the right one comes along.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3283 posts
    Sugar bee

    Concentrate on working on yourself – find new hobbies, realise you ARE worthy, and learn to be happy alone. Mr Right will often show up when you’re not looking 🙂

    26 is still young btw!

    I met my husband within 3 months of leaving an abusive man (if you can even call him a MAN). I was already over and done with the ex before the break up though. So I went into the relationship with my husband with zero hang ups.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2258 posts
    Buzzing bee

    What do you mean you’re not worthy?

    This one guy wasn’t ready to be married. It’s great, and I do mean great, that he called off the engagement and that you ended the relationship. A big problem was avoided. Pain and trouble worse than what you are experiencing now was avoided. 

    Meeting someone and getting married isn’t on a timetable that a person can point to and say, “In 6 months so-and-so will come along and everything will be great.” We’re human; only G-d knows when your husband will enter your life and you his. 

    Start praying. Set your mind right by praying. Asking people for their experiences will only give you anecdotes of what could happen; praying and asking G-d your questions will provide you with information about your life, about what you actually need to know.

    You are closer to having the marriage and life you want now than you were when you were engaged to this guy. 

    Start praying and reading your bible. It will cut all of this nonsense out. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    6276 posts
    Bee Keeper

    This is kinda what your 20s are for. You love and live and you learn. 

    Im all for going out with various guys, online dating is great for that, and taking it lightly. You get to learn what you like and don’t like and have fun along the way. 

    Travelling, having adventures with work or with girlfriends (and guy friends), staying out late, just having fun is all part of it. 

    Youre young. I was your age and if omeone told me I had another 10 years before meeting the guy I would marry I think I’d have thrown myself to the ground – but do you know what, those 10 years have been the best of my life so far! 

    Youre at an age where your are a bit wiser and have the means to do stuff but young enough to enjoy it all. Perfect! 

    It’s not that you’re ‘not worthy’ as you say in your post – it’s that that guy had other stuff going on and changed his mind. That’s a reflection on him. Nothing to do with you although of course it had a knock on effect on you. Be glad he didn’t try to fake it and you end up in false superficial marriage. 

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    1435 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I wasn’t engaged but broke up with a long term partner when I was 25 and remember feeling like I had wasted my best years being with him. I let myself grieve and then decided to focus on doing things that made me happy. While going solo to a friend’s birthday where I didn’t know anyone aside from my friend (we had only reconnected after my break up), I met my now Darling Husband. I wasn’t looking for anything but everything felt right and actually I’ve gone on to have seven happier years since!

    Let yourself grieve your previous relationship but start to think about what would make you happy for you! 

    Post # 8
    Member
    9152 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    i met my husband when i was 30.

    Post # 9
    Member
    9729 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: City, State

    Girlfriend, you aren’t a check list. You don’t have to be this that and the other to have a man be interested in marrying you! Listing off your religion and looks and coming from good stock just reminds me of back in the day when women were sold off to other familes. “She is strong like bull! I give to you two sheep in addition.”

    As the other PPs have said, there isn’t anything wrong with you. It actually sounds like this might be a good thing for you! Its time to get out and be an adult and live on your own two feet for a while. Continue your jouney to become more strong and independent! Enjoy your life, girlfriend! You are so very young and still have your entire life ahead of you and there are plenty of men out there who will be on the same path that you are. There is so much more to life than being married or attached to someone. Live on your own! Take up hobbies! Take trips! Do you! And while you’re out enjoying life the right one will come along.

    Post # 10
    Member
    908 posts
    Busy bee

    Please keep your head up bee. I wasn’t engaged but my serious Boyfriend or Best Friend of over two years broke up with me suddenly when I was 26. I felt like a rug was pulled from under me. I was sad, I cried, and went through a phase of depression. Everything will be ok. Please trust in God’s perfect timing for your life. I met my now fiance a few months later and we are getting married this June. I will be 32. My ex wasnt the right person for me. I am so glad that he broke things off and I was able to meet the love of my life. Be patient and focus on becoming a better person. You can use this time to get fit, learn a new language, go back to school , etc. This isn’t the end bee, its just the start of a brand new chapter in your life. And 26 is not old! lol

    Post # 11
    Member
    14 posts
    Newbee

    bree90 :  My best friend was in a similar situation. Her fiance brooke off the engagementa year after the fact, about a year later he started dating her friend and married her within a year and a half. they are all christians as well. My best friend is living the time of her life. They started dating very young and now she’s taking time to know herself and do things she likes to do that he didn’t like. My adivice is too take this as a blessing and a time to get to know yourself. If your church goes on missions, go! Leave your comfort zone. This could have been a blessing. Also, always leave your heart open and allow yourself to love again. God will bless you with someone amazing.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6989 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    bree90 :  There really isn’t much anyone can say to make you feel better after a breakup, especially an engagement ending. I don’t care how many people say “you’re 26, you have time”…..it doesn’t feel that way when you’re the one going through it.

    That being said, 26 isn’t the end of the world….even though it feels daunting to start over again. Find a hobby, hang out with girlfriends, attend church. You never know where you’ll meet the right person.

    Honestly you dodged a bullet. Marrying someone who isn’t ready, just because you feel like it’s the next step, is a recipe for disaster.

    Post # 13
    Member
    7852 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I met my fiance when I was 29, about a year after a gruelling breakup. I’m now 31 and we’re getting married in a few days! I do remember feeling scared at first after this breakup that I was “almost 30” and destined to be a spinster with 929038 cats, and kicking myself for wasting so much time with my ex. But I soon got over that. The year between breaking up with my ex and meeting Fiance was actually one of the best of my life! I really got my sense of self back. Went on some horrible dates that made for good stories. And eventually met a wonderful guy that never made me feel insecure or unsupported or anything but loved. The same will happen to you but no one can tell you when. It could happen tomorrow or it could happen in 10 years. Just try not to stress to much and enjoy the ride !

    Post # 14
    Member
    1883 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    26 is very young! I didn’t get serious with my husband until I was 28, almost 29, we got engaged when I was 33, married when I was 34, and I’m now 36 and we have a 4.5 month old little boy. You have plenty of time to find your guy! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    4864 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    “Not worthy” 

    no no. Just stop right there.

    You are worthy of a relationship with someone who is the right person. The relationship you were in is what’s not worthy. Being married young is not important. Being married to the right person at the right time is what’s important. 

    At the end of a significant relationship it can look like things are bleak and you think you’re going to be alone forever. This is not true. When you’re grieving , for some reason the brain likes to punish you. Like you’re not unhappy enough, lets blame ourselves and and ask “am I not pretty/accomplished/whatever enough??? WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE TO MAKE HIM LOVE MEEEEEE!!!”

    Nothing. Either it’s right or it’s not. 

    Might hard to see it right now, but really, you avoided marrying a guy whose heart wasn’t in it. 

    I met my future husband within a few months of a very bad breakup. Thank God I wasn’t still with the last guy. 

    Work on you for right now. Keep on being pretty, keep on being a nurse, keep on keeping on. The rest will follow.

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