Broken engagement & being single at 26

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: How soon after major breakup did you meet "the one"?
    6 months or less : (51 votes)
    55 %
    A year : (23 votes)
    25 %
    2 years : (12 votes)
    13 %
    5 years + : (7 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    863 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

    bree90 :  I’m sorry to hear you are going through this! Breakups are horrible. I am not sure if my comments will be helpful at all, but my heart goes out to you, and I want to reassure you that you ARE worthy, and you are young! I broke up with a long-term BF when I was 34, so I was 8 years older than you! I met my now-husband a little less than three months later, after going on a bunch of dates, and it was like I’d been struck by lightening. We got married about a year and a half later, and our relationship is 1000 times better than relationships I’ve had with exes, and I am eternally grateful. I’d encourage you to focus on yourself anwhat you want. Believe in yourself, and also have faith that this other guy was simply not meant to be. You will find someone else who is worthy of you. Best wishes, Bree! 

    Post # 17
    Member
    1496 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    bree90 :  Hi Bee! You’ll get through this! I was 26 when my *sshat ex finally ended things for good with us. I was lucky enough within a month to make a new friend, who became my best friend. She really pushed me out of my comfort zone in alot of ways. I reconnected with old friends, made more new friends, became more social, and she even pushed me onto Tinder and went on a couple of (pretty terrible) double dates with me! 6 months to the day after ex ended things, I had my first date with my now Fiance. It wasn’t easy, dare I say…I wasn’t even into it. I wasn’t ready, and I was still having depressive episodes, too.

    It took a few months of dating, and *I* even ended things about 2.5 months in (right when I turned 27). He fought for me though, and I snapped out of it, and it just all…suddenly made sense. We’ve been together and extremely happy ever since – 3.5 years now :). You’re still young and you’ve got plenty of time!

    Honestly…this is kind of the perfect time! Alot is changing in your life, which just presents a multitude of possibilities! Within a couple of months of making things official, I moved out of my parents’ house and started a new job with a new company. That means that within less than a year after the end of my terrible 11+year on/off catastrophe, my life looked NOTHING like it had before. New friends, new living situation, new job, new boyfriend!

    Post # 18
    Member
    1169 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    bree90 :  It’s not that you’re not worthy. Clearly your ex wasn’t worthy of you or he would have shown himself to be worthy. It is okay to still be sad. Break-ups are hard. Over time, you’ll find it gets easier, I hope. I know that Bees always suggest talking to someone, but if you’re open to it, therapy really helped me after a couple of my break-ups. It helped me build up my confidence again, which is so fundamental after a break-up.

    If I may say this, it also sounds like you really want to get married, which is great, but this desire may have blinded you to the fact that your ex wasn’t a great match for you. That can happen so easily, but it’s much better to keep an open mind and keep thinking critically about what a man’s actions are showing you as your relationship develops and whether this is really the type of man that God would want you to be with.

    I would suggest that you use this time to get to know yourself better and work on yourself. Go talk to a professional if you are feeling down and unworthy, it can only help. Focus on your relationship with God. Focus on your relationship with your family and your friendships. God has a plan for your life, and you might as well enjoy the path along the way.

    Post # 19
    Member
    3333 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    Darling Husband and I got together at 29. To be honest I needed to be older. I had a lot of selfish years and at 29 I was ready to put someone else before myself. At 26 I was putting my career and goals first.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    Bad things can happen to anyone.

    27 isn’t old. You’ll be fine.

    Post # 21
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee

    I’d kill to be 26. You’ve got 4 years on me darling, you’re a spring chicken. You’ll find the right one.

    Post # 22
    Member
    2089 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    When I met my Darling Husband, it was 3 weeks after a major breakup. (I had dated that boyfriend for 5 years on and off.) I was devastated by the breakup, but my relationship is so much better with Darling Husband. I was 25 when this happened. Believe me, you are not too old!! Focus on doing things you enjoy and meeting your needs. The right person will come along. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I went through the worst break up of my life in April 2015, moved across the country, and met my current husband a year and a half later. The funny thing is that my husband at that time was going through a divorce. So he met “the one” a lot quicker than I did lol You’re still young. Put yourself out there and you will find the one. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    1358 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2027

    bree90 :  you’re a baby. Stop worryimg about it so much. Just live life. Thats what I was doing when I met my current fi at 29.

    Also, take the time to heal from this. 

    Eta I am 38 today, btw

    Post # 25
    Member
    1060 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    I said a year, but my ex & I did the on/off thing for a few months. It actually helped me get over him. I finally ended things for good in July and met my FH in October.

    Edit: I met my FH when I was 27.

    Post # 26
    Member
    109 posts
    Blushing bee

    I got out of an extremely long term relationship (8 years) at 30 years old.  I was devastated at the time – the whole life I’d envisioned for myself (husband, kids, golden retriever) was suddenly up in smoke.  I know how hard it is – there were nights where I cried myself to sleep in my new house, wishing I could black out because anything would be better than having to experience that kind of pain.

     

    I took a year to get my sh*t together and work on my new home (yes, I bought one!).  When I decided I was ready I started dating again, and like another poster said, I went on about a million dates that made for some great stories, ha!  When I was about to give up I “swiped right” on one last dude who I thought might have potential, and we’ve been together for 8 months now.  I’m actually about to have the “future talk” with him soon because I’m that wild about him.

     

    It sounds cliche but time really will help – and while you’re not 18 anymore, you’re not dead either!  There’s plenty of life out there for you; just keep your head up and keep going!

    Post # 27
    Member
    348 posts
    Helper bee

    I think it is wonderful that you moved out on your own.  You get to live life, and discover what is important to YOU beyond marriage, children and family.  Spend this time exploring your hobbies and career.  Focus on things that interest you and make you happy.  26 is young.  You have plenty of time to meet someone, fall and love and still be a young mom.  😉

    When I was about to turn 30, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years.  We cohabitated, had all the same friends, and had the same hobbies.  It felt like I was giving up my entire world.  However, I got my own place for the first time (I had always had roommates or lived with him previously.)  While I definately did spend a lot of time crying on the floor of my new flat, I also made a point of putting myself out there.  I got new hobbies.  I focused on decorating my apartment exactly how I wanted it.  I joined clubs and went to meet up groups.  I threw myself into my career.  I cuddled my pet.  Slowly, I felt much better.

    My advice is to go out and experience life own your own.  Right now, for a brief period, you have a chance to do EXACTLY what you want.  You don’t have to compromise with a partner or deal with the demands of children.  Focus on being you and on doing things that bring you joy.  Go out and mingle even if you don’t always feel like it.   Join a church group.  Join a cycling, reading or running club. Get that pet you always wanted. The fluffy toy poodle or the ridiculously expensive bird.  The world is out there.

    If you are a happy person, you will attract others.  I met my current partner while forcing myself to go to a meet up group near my house.  All my friends were busy that day, and I was feeling a bit lonely.  We are a much better match than my ex and I ever were.  I am a much happier person because my career choices and hobbies are things that I chose for me.

    I know things look bleak now, but it will all work out.  Hugs!

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