(Closed) Broken engagement, then ex-fiance soon pursues best friend

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
523 posts
Busy bee

Nowhere in this do you explain why this man still has a place in your life.

I find it very baffling/troubling that you continue to apologize to this guy for tiny things and basically grovel at his feet (you’re not “Worthy” of his friendship after he dumped you and started stalking your best friend? Really?)

Bottom line he’s not considering your feelings because you are no longer together. It seems like he just wants to sleep with Laura so why would he care if he ruined her relationship wtih you or with her SO?

You need to leave this man in the past.

Post # 3
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I don’t think I’d consider his actions that of a “friend” personally. Sounds like you cater to him a lot and without real reason or him even considering your feelings. I’d say let it go.

Post # 6
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

sooshi:  He sounds like an ass. Any guy who ends an engagement and goes after a girl’s best friend is a creep in my opinion. You don’t deserve that kind of treatment. And after everything he did to YOU, you’re the one that feels bad? I think you should get far, far away from him because no guy should make you feel like that when he’s the one who’s in the wrong. You can do better! Trust me, I know the feeling. My first serious SO made me feel like everything was my fault so I always apoloigzed to him. Looking back, it was ridiculous. You shouldn’t feel bad for pushing him away from your life. At. All.

Post # 7
582 posts
Busy bee

sooshi:  Are you all very young? Drop this man from your life. He isn’t your friend; that seems fairly obvious from his actions. He either isn’t considering your feelings or he is and is intentionally trying to hurt you – either way, no reason to stay friends with this ex. Cut him off and be done with it.

Post # 8
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014


sooshi:  this person is not your friend, he’s a scumbag who pursues his ex’s friends and harasses women who aren’t interested in him. Why are you apologizing to him? Honey, cut him off! He’s treated you poorly and disrespected your friend – he has shown you who he is, and if you continue to keep him around, he will find other ways to abuse your kind nature. I don’t understand what you miss about the friendship – the part where he proposes and then dumps you, or the part where he pursues your friend and won’t take no for an answer?

Post # 12
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

sooshi:  Since you were completely surprised to see this side of him, I think that could be where some of your hurt is coming from. When I was blindsided by my ex, it hurt me badly. I thought he was a good person, but he honestly wasn’t. We also tried being friends and it continued to complicate our relationship. I honestly don’t think you need this guy in your life, especially since he’s causing you pain and confusion when you don’t deserve it.

Post # 14
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sooshi:  Gary is your ex. You owe each other nothing and Gary can pursue or date whoever he wants. You can’t tell Gary what he can and can’t do. 

Laura is your friend, and if she was a good friend she wouldn’t date Gary, out of respect for you. It sounds like Laura has done exactly the right thing, good on her.

You should shut Gary completely out of your life: re-block him, forget about him, and let him do what he wants. Yes I realise it is hard to forget about him, but blocking him would be a good first step.

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