Post # 1
So, I decided to “postpone” our engagement. It wasn’t a rash move, but something that needed to be done to avoid any potential regrets. Curious if any of you have ever called off, postponed, or cancelled your engagement?? If so, what was the outcome? Did you eventually become re-engaged, get married and live happily ever after or did your relationship continue to take steps back until you broke up entirely?
Post # 3
@boombacha: We never broke off our enagement, but we hit bumps in the road as both of us were dealing with issues from our parents that we were taking out on each other. We went to counseling. It was the best decision we ever made. We know now how better to communicate with each other. We had a private civil ceremony between the two of us in July, and in November we are having our big religious wedding for the family.
Post # 5
I’ve known 3 people very close to me who’ve broken off engagements and they all went on to marry other people. Fortunately, one of them was my Darling Husband. He broke off his engagement after 2 mths bc he felt they were in this step for all the wrong reasons. She recently was married and we met a year after he broke things off. The other 2 people tried to work through the relationship but it just could never be and really not what they wanted. Sometimes things work our but IMO if you break it off you know deep down the relationship is over.
Post # 6
@boombacha: Is this a recent move, or an old one? I thought you were engaged already?
Post # 7
@Linz1231: I became engaged in January 2011, but I recently broke it off or “postponed” it because of my boyfriend’s insecurities. I just put up another post with more details, if you’re interested in leaving any suggestions. 🙁
Post # 8
Of course, we all hear of counciling, but I have never heard if it actually worked for anyone! Thanks for the suggestions, Missvern & Rachel!
Post # 9
@boombacha- the same ex I mentioned in your other post told me that he was starting to lool at rings. I totally freaked, because I felt nowhere near right about his insecurities and jealousies in our relationship. I am so glad I realized it wasn’t right and broke it off before it got that far…he just didn’t seem balanced at all.
Now that I am married to my husband, I will say that he wasn’t “perfect” but then nobody is perfect. There were a few tweaks here and there, but one of the major things that made him “Mr. Right” was his understanding/rational behaviour that made being in a relationship with him very easy. If there is something not right, it is very easy to talk things out with each other and be respectful and understanding of the other’s feelings/needs.
Post # 10
@boombacha: I have been engaged twice in my life. I ended the first engagement almost 20 years ago, because my then-FI and I came to the difficult conclusion that we were not really on the same path spiritually. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, but I knew deep in my heart that I had to end the relationship, despite the fact that my then-FI was the most wonderful, kind, sweet, gentle, loving, tenderhearted, fun, family-oriented (and amazingly good-looking!) guy I had ever dated. After I ended that relationship, I shed many, many, many tears — especially in the beginning. My heart was truly broken, and I still loved him. He was a great person, a special person, and I missed him and his wonderful family. I remained in contact with him sporadically, and on a “friends only” basis for a long time, but I rarely ever saw him, and our contact was almost never about the “us” that had been but was almost always about what was going on in our individual lives and in the lives of our family members. Several years later, he married a dear, precious, sweet, loving, kind, and beautiful girl. The weekend he was married was very hard for me, but I was comforted by the fact that I knew God had a different and better plan for my life, and I had to trust Him to bring that to pass in His timing. By that point in time, I had learned that often, what we think we really want is not what He wants for us, even if what we want is good and wonderful in our eyes. It took a very long time for me to finally meet Darling Husband, but he was worth the wait!
Post # 11
@boombacha: As a therapist myself, I always tell people that you get out of it what you put into it.
Post # 12
My sister and my cousin both broke off engagements and didn’t stay with the guys. They are now both happily married to awesome guys; I’m so glad they had the guts to do what was right for them and move on.
Post # 13
This is my first time seeing someone else from Iowa on here!
We too have almost called off our engagement, but ultimately we are still going through with the wedding as planned.
Post # 14
We called it off due to money issues and the fighting that came along with them, but we decided to keep our wedding day and go through with the wedding but re-plan it to be significantly less expensive. We had been fighting so I thought maybe it wasn’t right to get married but after taking a day to think it over I realized I absolutely wanted to marry him. I feel like if it’s not right to marry the person as planned, then it won’t get better with time.
Post # 15
@boombacha: I recently ended my two year relationship while the ring was getting made. Each family was excited and waiting for us to offically announce the wedding details. It was a hard decision, it hurt but I have no regrets.
Post # 16
- Wedding: June 2015 - Thorpewood
I’m not engaged now, nor have I ever been, but I told my boyfriend that he had to quit smoking before I would consider getting engaged. He’s been smoke-free for two months and it’s making much more excited about the idea of engagement.
If he started smoking again after we get engaged, I would definitely postpone it. I don’t want to be married to a smoker.