(Closed) Broken Engagement…How Common Is This & Now What??

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What was your engagement story?
    Mr. Perfect- Couldn't Be More Ready To Do This!! : (108 votes)
    65 %
    Mr. Right- Altered A Few Things : (26 votes)
    16 %
    Mr. Maybe?- Postponed/Cancelled Wedding : (31 votes)
    19 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    24 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I have a friend who called off his wedding, he was actually supposed to get married next weekend. He and his fiance were living together and I asked him how it was going afterword and he said they were trying.

    They tried for a couple months but recently he told me she is now in the process of moving out and they have ended the relationship. I would think it would still be hard to be with someone after they called off the enagment, but I’m sure that each situation is different.

    Post # 18
    Member
    10713 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I was engaged and about half way through the wedding planning when I postponed it because I was told my Fiance was cheating. I didn’t have proof he was cheating so I held on a few months until he came clean about it and then I cancelled the wedding and ended the relationship. It was hard but I met my FH not long after, so it all worked out.

    Post # 19
    Member
    5572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I’m so sorry to hear this, I’m sure it’s been a hard decision for you to make but I also read your other post that has more details and I think you made the right one. Hopefully this will be a wakeup call to him about those issues that you mentioned and how strongly they affect you because it sounds like, other than that huge issue obviously, you two could be very happy together 🙂

    I have been engaged twice. The first time I broke off the engagement because I knew he was cheating. I haven’t spoken to him since but I learned through a mutual friend that he actually married the girl that he was cheating with.

    About a year after that I met my Darling Husband and we recently got married without anything going wrong during our engagement.

    Good luck, i hope to hear a happy ending from you!

    Post # 20
    Member
    7586 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I’ve actually never admitted this on here before, but I’ve been proposed to/engaged quite a few times.  The proposals I said no to, and the engagements I called off, and the wedding I postponed, all ended without us getting back together.  I called them off for a reason. I realized that the person had a quality that I couldn’t live with forever. All of my proposals were a surprise. We never had really talked about marriage and I wasn’t the type of girl to really think about it often either. So I always had to make a split decision during the proposal and then evaluate later. 

    When my husband proposed it was the first time I was 100% sure when I answered. I already knew that I wanted to marry him and that he was the one way before the proposal.  I couldn’t have imagined ever calling it off.

    Post # 21
    Member
    46 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I got engaged 3 years ago. We postponed the wedding, since he decided to go to school to become a doctor. It was something he was interested in, but then he decided to go another route (that he felt may be more condusive to active family life) until his sister then again talked him into it and he just sprung it on me. He didn’t want to get married while starting out Med school, and I was upset over him not discussing his decision with me. We broke off our engagement completely since we couldn’t stop yelling at eachother all the time. We took a few month broken up entirely and then started dating again… but never became engaged again.We had a thought that if our dating lives could work out without such havoic we would become engaged again.

     I moved to another state for the internship of my dreams, and got a call from him shortly after I moved there that he had chosen to attend a medical school for the next two years out of the country. He didn’t include me in the discussion, he kept it from me (since he got the response before I even moved) and I finally got it out of him with a little interegation. He got the letter and accepted without saying so much as boo to me. I knew then that was it, and I had move to a new place and had the chance to start a new life of me own. I’m sooo greatful I followed my gut. I’m so grateful that we did not just jump back into things. When a relationship hits rock bottom, if you or he lets it than it really isn’t the one that’s worth creating a life around.

    After I started my new life, I met the man of my dreams. I enjoy my life with him more than I’ve truly ever enjoyed life, and love him more than I ever loved anyone. We’re getting married later this month, and I’m sooo absolutely happy!

     

    If you’re truly questioning this than maybe you have to take some time to yourself and think about if he’s really the one for you. You cannot start a marriage in anger, and unhappiness. Once I stepped away from my other relationship entirely I noticed the flaws (especially once I moved physicially away from the relationship for a period of time) and realize that his personality really didn’t compliment mine.

    I opened myself up to new experiences, new people, and challenged myself to live a better life.

    The first time I met Fiance I laughed harder than I had laughed in years, smiled more than I had with anyone else. And now I’m truly confident that everything happens for a reason.

     

    Best of luck in whatever you choose to do!

    Post # 22
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I was engaged many years ago…and broke it off. Now I’m happily engaged to a different guy and couldn’t be happier! Looking back, I realize that breaking the engagement before we made any major wedding plans was the right move. I truly believe I would have been divorced by now!

    I have other friends who have also broken off engagements, and they turned out to be the right move. They are all happily married to wonderful men!

    It’s a tough decision and should be considered carefully. But, go with what your heart tells you. It’s much easier to deal with a broken engagement than a divorce.

    Post # 23
    Member
    915 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    We haven’t called off our engagement, but I did mention it a few times during angry arguments. However, I know that we both seriously want to do this so we’re definitely getting married. We saw a therapist which helped a lot and I now believe all of our arguments were just brought on by lots of stress that we faced due to wedding planning and communication issues with my Future Mother-In-Law.

    Post # 24
    Member
    842 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’ve never been engaged before mow, but I am one of those people who couples therapy was successful for. Fiance (boyfriend at the time) and I had been fighting more and more about this female friend of his who I felt crossed too many lines and just wanted to use him as her faux boyfriend.
    So we saw a therapist and it gave us a non-confrontational way to talk about the issue. She also helped my Fiance see my POV. A couple months later we were engaged and then a little while after that, we all felt like we didn’t need the 3rd party. We know we’ll run into issues in the future, but I think we’re better able to work through it.

    Post # 26
    Member
    124 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @boombacha: Both my fiance and I have broken engagements. I called mine off, his was called off. But she just pulled the trigger first, he just wasn’t sure how. Mine was almost seven years ago, and his was almost two.

    Now-fiance and I dated and were friends back in high school before we even met our exes! My maid of honor also has a broken engagement. She called hers off a few months before I called mine off.

    Post # 27
    Member
    65 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I have one broken engagement and my Fiance asked his college sweetheart and she said NO! My first engagement was at the age of 21 to my college sweetheart of 3 years. We were 4 months in to the engagement. We loved each other but we were very competitive with each other. We fought a lot. Our broken engagement was mutual and we only lost out on our photographer and reception deposits. Looking back now we got engaged because it was the “next logical step.” It was what we were expected to do-go to college, meet sweetheart, graduate college, get married. Thankfully we didn’t get married or I’d have a divorce under my belt. My first Fiance married the women he dated after we broke up. They have been happily married for 7 years.

    My current Fiance is truely the love of my life. I was single for 10 years after my college Fiance and I broke up. I was losing hope in finding someone. But the wait was worth it. My Fiance now and I are both wiser and more mature and learned from the mistakes of our first serious relationships. I wouldn’t change anything…No regrets! It all happens for a reason.

    Post # 28
    Member
    39 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    My ex fiance broke off our engagement a month and a half ago.  We have talked some, but if there will be a reconciliation it will not be in the near future. At first I was devastated and confused, now that I look back I think it was a long time coming and neither of us had the guts to do it.  Marriage is a life long commitment and you shouldnt have to second guess yourself. Take time to reflect on yourself and the answers will come to you

    Post # 29
    Member
    2128 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We went to marriage prep classes….we were told lots people find through marriage prep, that they aren’t ready, that there are things that need to be resolved first, but that most of those people did get married 6 months or so down the line after seeking counseling, etc.

    What you did was very brave! 

    Post # 29
    Member
    1089 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    View original reply
    boombacha :  I know I’m late to the party lol but I just stumbled across this thread and felt I had to reply. Almost 4 years ago he got down on one knee and said Will you? And I said yes. Despite all the red flags (his mother hated me, he was a man child, my parents didn’t really like him, he hated my friends, his friends hated me) it took over a year to pick a date, and then I was off and running. I found the venue, photographer, florist, dress, etc. And then 20 days before the big day he said he couldn’t do it. I told him I needed 90 days of no talking and then proceeded to go ahead with the reception (best decision ever!), Do some single girl things(party cruise, walking food tour, kayaking trip, concert) and started to hit the dating scene again (it had been 5 years since I was a single gal). I ended up having a fling, and that came to an end right at the 90 day mark. I reached out to my ex fiance, we were cordial but nothing was left of the relationship. A couple of weeks later I met an amazing guy and now a year later we’re moving in together! I’m so thankful that I didn’t marry my ex. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    336 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    boombacha :  as i got into my mid 20s, it became a lot more common of broken engagements. (you’d see an engagement announcement on FB but then all a sudden see all their pics together taken down or their status taken off). 

    i think basically for all of them, breaking off an engagement = breaking up. They all moved on to other people also. 

    The topic ‘Broken Engagement…How Common Is This & Now What??’ is closed to new replies.

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