Broken Gift – I'm the sender

posted 8 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
180 posts
Blushing bee

Errrr “in case you wanted to send something else?” She wants you to spend more money than you already spent on a very thoughtful gift? Hell no. Grabby and entitled.

Post # 3
26 posts

madameskc :  I would not give a second gift. She didnt compliment it and thank you ANY??? I bet it WAS beautiful and obviously, very well thought out and it meant something to you that when you saw it… you thought of them!

Post # 4
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Don’t send anything. It’s not your fault it broke in transit and she can deal with DHL if she wants to get something out of it but this is nothing on you.

she sounds like an entitled bitch. 

Post # 5
6688 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2050

madameskc :  Maybe send her a tube of Superglue? 

Post # 6
2993 posts
Sugar bee

madameskc :  hmm. I received a broken gift but I said nothing. The retailer replaced it and I said nothing to the gift giver. 

So first see if DHL will give you money back I know some will at a certain value. 

Once you get your money back it’s really up to you if you get her another gift. I also don’t like the way she handled it. I would have absolutely told you as the bride how bummed I was that it broke. Since you’re close enough to have traveled for a DW, can you talk to her about it? Maybe she’s awkward? Sometimes people blurt things out when they’re upset.

Is she generally materialistic? 

Post # 7
1313 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

madameskc :  No. Don’t send her anything, she’s gift grabbing. 

Post # 8
5175 posts
Bee Keeper

Wow.  I’d send my apologies instead of another gift.

Post # 9
12103 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

madameskc :  I’d check with DHL and see if there’s any insurance that will cover it.  Did you buy it with a credit card? Sometimes those hae crazy insurance policies that might cover it as well.

If not, I probably wouldn’t buy another…

Post # 11
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I would guilt trip her a bit and say “oh I’m sorry that happened, I found it in [wherever you bought it] and thought of you instantly but I won’t be able to replace it. Perhaps try and file a complaint with DHL and see what they can do?”

Post # 12
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Lake Louise Canada

Wow. If I got a gift that was totally unusable I’d thank the giver and never mention there was anything wrong with it. No one should expect to receive any wedding gifts let alone 2. Ridiculous.

Post # 13
1037 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

madameskc :  Your friend is greedy and self-serving.  I received a wedding gift that was in a million pieces (an expensive crystal vase, from my boss no less) and when I called the shop they said they couldn’t replace it because he didn’t ship it through them (he took it and shipped it himself).

The correct thing to do (which I checked 100 times, because, in another interesting twist, my boss’s mom is Miss Manners.  The actual Miss Manners) is to say nothing.  Nothing.  I sent a lovely thank you note and that was the end of that.

Post # 14
2993 posts
Sugar bee

fredthebasil :  Good to know! I didn’t say anything either when I got a broken thing. But if I sent a gift I’d want to know that it broke. What’s the rule if the guest asks if it got there ok? 

Post # 15
9818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

This is one of the worst examples of ungrateful rudeness yet. Who tells the sender of a generous, thoughtful, unique gift that it is broken and you’d like them to send another gift.


not sure I could manage a reply but if you can, follow PP’s advice re DHL insurance. 

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