(Closed) Broken hearted today.

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m so sorry you are going through this. After a year and a half you would figure he would have something together.  I understand rings can cost a lot but the fact that he sounds like he hasn’t put any effort into it would be extremely upsetting. I’m going to try to give him the benefit of the doubt and think maybe he’s trying to throw you off track. If he’s not, does he even want to get married? Does he expect you to have a baby without being married?

Post # 4
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

Ive come to relize that sometimes you just have to sulk…my SO is away for 4 days and i plan on sulking the entire time, ive been really trying not to let him see my sulking so ive got a great pitty-cation ahead of me now….for the same reason as you. 

I have also been given the money excuse as to why we are not engaged yet, i got this info from my SO after i had one too many mojitos and let it all out about my everyday devastation that he hasnt asked me yet…(yikes)…which i thought prompted him to start saving $$, my birthday is this sunday and of course ive been getting my hopes up like a fool only to find out we now need a new roof and thats where all his extra funds will be going (of course thats the right choice but…wtf..haha) I couldnt wait to get into my car and cry my eyes out over it, and i felt better afterward, i dunno why but i did….i know i should be saying, dont sulk be happy blah blah blah, but i cant, cause im right there with ya….

and i cant believe he didnt even remember how much the stinkin ring cost! geeze!

Post # 6
Member
2202 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@thearcherandthebull:  Hugs. I am sorry your having a bad waiting day! Boys are fickle creatures I know my man has to have all his ducks in a row, maybe in his mind having the house finished & renovated before he proposes is important? Good luck!

Post # 9
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s great that you try to make him happy, but he needs to do the same. I don’t know how much you talk to him about it, but I would definitely sit him down and tell him how all this is making you feel. His lack of effort is really hurting you. That if he’s not ready to propose or marry you, then he needs to stop pushing the baby issue because you are not going there until you officiallly sign the paper. If he is adament on not getting married, then maybe you do have to walk away. You have every right to find someone who wants the same thing, relationships involve compromise and if he wants you to be happy and really loves you, he would understand that you want to get married and be more than happy to.

Post # 10
Member
81 posts
Worker bee

@thearcherandthebull : ugh! your SO sounds just like mine!! he always says things like that about the ring not changing the way we feel about each other and such…and those things always make me want to hit the car and start the waterworks! if it was up to me to propose and $$ was the issue, i KNOW id find a way!! and your right, it doesnt seem like he has to pinch to many pennies to make it happen! I REALLY REALLY hope this is all a stunt to throw you off! My situation gets a little tricky with the biological clock aspect because i already have a 5 year old son from my previous ‘relationship’ and my SO has decided that he is fine with not having any more children, which is sweet that he considers my son his own, but i thought the ticking clock was actually helping shorten my engagement time line, not so much now i guess….And i feel the exact same way about trying to keep him happy all the time, not that when all this mania is over ill cut the crap become the worst fiance/wife ever but i do feel like im always giving 110% in hopes that today might be the day and that not always what im getting in return…oh what i would give to know his inner thoughts! what the heck are they waiting for?!!!!


Post # 11
Member
23 posts
Newbee

This is the SAME crap that is happening to me! SO had the money saved up in the bank and his brother went to the bank withdrew the money and stole it. The bank REFUSED to return the money, this isn’t some made up shanigans because I went with him to the bank and it was a total disaster. He had to have a police report with his brothers name on it which he can’t/couldn’t get until after he pressed charges and his brother was sentenced which would take FOREVER and eventually his parents told him they’d just give him the money back if he’d drop the charges. Well, they’ve yet to give it back as far as I know..THEN his truck had to be fixed and THEN he needed new tires, which to be honest he really, really did need new tires but cmon! I am so beyond sick of waiting, he has promised me I’ll have it by Christmas and I made him promise that NO MATTER WHAT! Idc what expenses come up, the money is NOT coming out of the ring fund. Ugh! Money!

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