(Closed) Broken, lost and confused!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
976 posts
Busy bee

Assuming you are genuine and not a troll….

It is very unfortunate that you cannot see the fact that this uncle is a groomer, user, and manipulator. Everyone here sees it, and you don’t. You also seem very set in your mindset. So you will learn eventually, the hard way. 

I also don’t know why you decided to post. You specifically ask for advice yet are crapping on everyone’s advice. You don’t want an abortion, you don’t want an adoption, you don’t want to move back in with your parents (but your FI’s family WILL kick you out, mark my words), you like the uncle, but still “love” your Fiance. You want to have your cake and eat it too. That’s not reality. It’s not going to work out how you want it, anyway you slice it.

This is the fact: You fucked up. Like seriously, royally, fucked it. You have treated everyone in this scenario like shit. You have shitted all over your Fiance by cheating on him with a family member and getting impregnated by this person. You shitted all over his parents by doing this behind their backs, under thei roof while they were doing you a favor. And you are shitting on the uncle by not being sure of what you want. And you are shitting on this to-be-born-child by birthing them into such a messed up situation. And you are expecting everyone to be happy and support you no matter what you do. It’s not going to happen like that. 

You also don’t love your Fiance. You may fave fluttery feelings, but you don’t love him. Love is the excact opposite of betrayal. Love means loyalty, of which you do not encompass at this time. 

So……what exactly are you expecting to hear from us? Give you a pat pat and say that everything will be okay? It won’t. I’m sorry this has happened, but you did it to yourself.

Unprotected sex = babies. Even just once. Use protection every single time. Being drunk is no excuse. Do you know how many babies there would be in the world if drunk people weren’t still diligent about using protection? 

Post # 32
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

Someone call Maury or Jerry Springer & pass the popcorn. 

Post # 33
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Hahahahaha this is all so fucked up. Abort! Abort!

The immaturity is just…staggering.

”I can’t decide if the man in my baby’s life should be the uncle or Fiance.”

Yep. Assuming the semi-pedo uncle would actually make a good father (no) or the druggie Fiance will want anything to do with you when he learns that semi-pedo uncle knocked you up (hm no). OR that you want a druggie raising A HUMAN BEING in that environment. Those stories always turn out well. Oh wait- nope.

5 weeks isn’t too late… I hear Mifepristone is a hell of a drug………… But seriously. Consider the fucked up world you are trying to bring a future human into. You have no idea what you’re getting into. And then you come here for sympathy? I know you were in a tough spot when Fiance got shipped off to jail but you should have run then. You don’t have a wedding date. Don’t even try to play that card.

Run…Run to the clinic and then run anywhere else out of that house away from those people. Also- uncle took advantage of you. Don’t kid yourself.

Oh and “I think I might still love my Fiance.” What do those words mean to you? Like really. I so want this whole thing to be fake. Nauseating. 

Post # 34
115 posts
Blushing bee

What the hell did you post here for, OP? So …. you shit on everyone in your life, screwed your entire life royally. Then you come in here asking what we would do in your situation, and we all tell you. And then you shit on all that advice too? WTF. 

Post # 35
3820 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017


Abort, break up with everyone, leave, and get some sense. 

God I hope you’re a troll. 

Post # 36
10479 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Well, hey, at least the Uncle isn’t a dope head in serving time in prison? 

What you need to do is start listening to your parents since they are the only ones in this story with any sense. You’re 19. Do you have a job? Can you support yourself and a baby? Will your parents help to support your child? Answer those questions.

If I were in your shoes I would have an abortion. You don’t seem to have your life together enough to have a child and it’s clear you have some growing/maturing to do before you’re responsible for another human being. 

I mean, what are you going to tell this kid when it’s older? “Well I started dating a drug addict who went to prison. Your grandparents were like totally super mean so I moved in with my incarcerated druggies boyfriends family. While I was living with them I started cheating on my boyfriend with his older man child Uncle. We were stupid and didn’t use protection and now you’re here! But don’t worry, I decided I really DID love the drug addict prison time boyfriend and decided he should be your daddy. So now he’s your Daddy-Cousin twice removed. Oh and your sister is your Sister-third Cousin.”

Post # 37
5020 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Broken, lost, confused.. add selfish, immature and unprepared to bring a child into this world.

You have made some very poor decisions but you do have options and you can do the right thing.  Being unperceptive to the advice here is just another unwise, selfish and immature move.

Post # 39
59 posts
Worker bee

This is just super weird… don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. It sounds like you’ll need them. 

Post # 40
1464 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

OP if I were in you shoes, I’d ask myself-if this was my child telling me this story-would I be ok with them making any of these decisions? Statistically speaking children born into low income/poverty lives will probably live that way for a long time. Are you ok with this? And not saying you’ll be a bad mother or that you can’t make a better life for yourselves but it has to start with you getting out of this situation first of you intend to raise this child. You want your child to be proud of you so do right by them and seek outside help in getting out of this situation ASAP! 

Post # 41
13735 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
sadandconfusedbride :  “I suppose the point of my post was more so to seek advice about whether I should try and work things out with my Fiance when he gets out of jail or if I should just start fresh and start a relationship with my FI’s uncle.”

If this is real you should not be with either one of them. You have no business bringing a baby into this mess when you can’t even take care of yourself. 

Post # 42
5020 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
sadandconfusedbride :  A future with Fiance is no longer a viable option.  

You have betrayed FI deeply and many would find what you have done to be unforgivable.  Even if there was a chance he would choose to stay with you there will likely be serious repercussions.  Plus add in the awkwardness of co-parenting with the uncle who sounds happy about your pregnancy and wanting to be the child’s father, which he is and has every right to be.

I think its deliussioal to think that Fiance will return home to marry you and raise his baby cousin. 

I stand by not being involved with either person but if you must choose one I think your only option is the uncle. No choice to be made.  Maybe you can find solace in that?

Post # 43
1737 posts
Bumble bee

I have no words for how immature his uncle, you and your FIs behavior is. Especially yours. Do yourself a favor and get some therapy some help and look at your options for your pregnancy. 

Either sort yourself out or don’t but don’t mess up a childs life if you can avoid it. It’s not fair on the child.

Post # 44
9519 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
sadandconfusedbride :  “whether I should try and work things out with my Fiance when he gets out of jail or if I should just start fresh and start a relationship with my FI’s uncle

Ok what planet are you living on where you think your Fiance will want to work things out with you and live happily ever after raising his uncle’s baby with you? I mean, sure, nothing’s impossible, but you have to face reality here.

As for the uncle, your prior posts all suggest you don’t have romantic feelings for him and you’re certainly not in love with him, so why start a such a relationship with him now? Sure, he’s the biological father, but that doesn’t mean you have to be WITH HIM with him. He can co-parent (although as I’ve mentioned, I have my doubts about his ability to do that) without you being romantically involved with him.

So basically, agree with PPs, my answer is neither.

Post # 45
4239 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Neither.  Move on with your life.

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