Your situation is very messy. I firstly want to say that I am very sorry that you are hurting and I pray that you find peace in time.
Your situation personally makes me question whether you really love your fiance anymore because in my oppinion, when you really love someone you would never think about cheating on them. Maybe you need to find it in your heart to do some soul searching to figure out if you really do love your fiance because i’m in love with someone currently and I could never even bear the thought of doing that to him. Let alone doing that to him…
So I think you may need to digg really deep and evalaute your own feelings for your fiance. Because to me, you do not sound like a woman who is still in love. You sound like a woman who is going to another man for the love and affection that you wish that your fiance would give to you… Since your going to another man for sex, you should ask yourself whether your fiance is truly giving you everything you need as a woman, and as his partner? Because to me, it doesnt seem like he is. He sounds like he has failed you in some way you have yet to acknowledge.
Here is my best advice. I apologize to you in advance if it comes off harshly in any way, but what you are doing right now to your fiance and his family is completely and honestly going to devestate them once they find out and someone needs to be real with you. If i’m the person who can be, than I will be.
My best advice to you would have come prior to you having cheated on him. I would have told you to have ended it with your fiance FIRST before you ever even possibly considered having a sexual relationship with his uncle… that would have been the right thing to do. But thats not an option anymore, so here’s my advice/oppinion based off of your current situation…
To not tell his parents the truth and to hide a pregnancy from them under their own roof when they have so graciously allowed you to live in THEIR home when they didn’t have to is wrong of you. It is wrong of you to allow yourself to continue living there when they have allowed you into their home with the intenion of you being their sons wife. It is wrong of you to stay there because your most likely not going to be his wife, now that you are pregnant with the uncle’s baby.
It does not matter now how much you love or don’t love the uncle… or how much you love or don’t love your fiance. All that matters now is that baby. That baby should be your #1 priority. And you are not putting that baby first by keeping it in that household with that situation going on…
And you are prolonging the wrongness of your actions now by continuing to keep this pregnancy a secret from your fiance and his parents while continuing to live in their house because living under their roof was a favor to you, not a given right. And now you have seriously violated their trust towards you, so to assume that you should still be able to live in their home having violated their trust is wrong because they very well may not feel comfortable with you living there anymore after knowing about the pregnancy.
My advice to you is:
1) Tell your fiance’s parents the truth about what happened in the gentless way possible in a face to face meeting( have the uncle in this meeting with you because this is half the uncles fault as well for provoking/tempting you when he knew you were engaged to his nephew and he deserves some of the blame. It wasn’t JUST you.)
2) During this meeting, have the uncle tell them straight forward that the pregnancy was caused by him, and then after he tells them, and you both apologize, move out of their house immediately( have your things packed up and ready to go in your room prior to telling them about the pregnancy, so that if things get realy ugly you can make a quick exit without leaving anything behind).
If you truly don’t have any place to stay at..maybe try hard to make a mense with your mom over the phone so that you can go live with her again while pregnant with your baby or maybe try your best to negotiate a deal with your fiance’s family that will allow you to save up enough while living with them, so that you can eventually move out and get on your own two feet.
But you must take responsibility for your adult choice to have sex with your fiance’s uncle, and give birth to your baby. Don’t take the easy way out of your choice by getting an abotion unless you honestly don’t see that your babys life will prosper in any way… Then once you have your baby, learn how to be a good mother to your baby, and move forward with your life as best you can.
Its not fair of you( or the uncle) to let this poor family be fooled and manipulated by you guys every day under their own roof thinking that you are devoted to their son when you are clearly not. Not saying this family is all perfect, but it’s still not right.
Yes, mistakes and accidents happen…And you can’t take it back now. We all mess up, and we are all human at the end of the day and I am truly sorry for the devestation that you and your fiance’s uncle’s mistake has created, but you need to be adult enough now to own up to your mistake, and get your own place with your new baby daddy.
You also need to tell your fiance face to face( if possible, you might have to do it over the phone if you can never see him) what happened and that you are now pregnant with his uncles baby. Then after your fiance knows, HE needs to be the one to decide (not you) whether he wants to forgive you or leave you…
Sooner or later, whether you tell them or not….your belly is going to start to show and they are going to find out one way or another . And it will be uglier if they found out later, as opposed to sooner. I know its scary, I know it is hard, but you made your choices and you need to accept the consequences of your actions.
PLEASE DO THE RIGHT THING. Tell everyone involved what happened though it is painful for you and allow everyone the opportunity to move forward.
I pray that God blesses you, your baby, and your situation with peace and prosperity. And that everyone in this situation is able to move forward from this in a healthy way while being forgiving of one another because there was a lot of people at fault here. Not just you.
I wish you, your family, your fiance, and his family all the very best.
In addition, know that you have a God who loves you. Turn to him during this difficult time. He will unconditionally love you through all the the storms of life, he will be with you always and he will never forsake or leave you like the people of this world can and often do in times of struggle and pain… God bless you and your baby.