(Closed) Broken off engagement to the perfect man

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@lulu7: Wow, that takes a lot of strength and courage to do.  I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I’d suggest counselling for you both, both seperately and together, to help you both let go and move on.  He’s likely going to have a lot of questions as to why, and need to sort it all out in his head.

There are so many stories like this, where some people just end up being great friends, and that’s all they were meant to be.  Who knows, maybe 15 years from now, you will meet again and it will be your time together.

I think you need to just keep being his friend, and it will all be ok.  It’s gonna hurt, a lot, right now, and outsiders will look at you like you did the worst thing ever, but if you’re heart isn’t in it, it will never work.

Good luck, have strength, and let yourself grieve.  You’re losing something too.

 

Post # 4
Member
1723 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

im really sorry and as long as in your heart you feel like you did the right thing then dont cry or feel bad. Im sure he was a wonderful ma and like u said – he deserves someone who is crazy hot for him just  like anyone else does.. Its ok.. You can control ur emotions.. 🙁 but I do have a question.. did you guys ever take any long romantic holiday together? If you did, did you feel anything at all towards him during that time?

Post # 5
Member
2127 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Sorry..that’s rough. I know after your together a long while you have to work at the romance, and intimacy but if you’ve always felt this way, then you did the right thing. Dating someone who’s great to you, but who you just aren’t attracted to is tough. 

I dated a guy who was great..before my Fiance. But I litterally started  dowing appletinis and crying and shaking while we were on holiday together, realizing It was now or never..as far as becoming intimate. I knew then I had to go home and get far, far away from him and spare him a tourture filled relationship with someone who would rather jump into a cold pool of water than make love to them. 

When I met my Fiance it was totally different…I got butterflies just looking at him…and I have never enjoyed someone’s touch more. So now you know that’s how it should feel, and that you will get married one day and next time you won’t have to question it.

Post # 7
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I was in the same situation a few years ago.  I was in a LDR with a guy who I’d never felt anything for.  I sort of fell in love with the idea of being in love, rather than him.  We were good friends, but that was it.  He was head over heels for me.  I wasn’t for him.  I blinded myself for a while, but one day I’d just had enough.  I realized I could never love him as a wife should love her husband and I ended things.  He went through a really rough time and I felt horrible.  I even questioned whether I was doing the right thing.  But, I’m happy I was strong enough to stick with my decision because I met my Fiance not too long afterwards.

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