- 2 years ago
I’ve come here before to seek out for completely different advice than I did last time. My now ex and I broke up for good. This is the third time we break up, however this time was different. We understand that we love each other but we’re not good for each other.
To give a bit of a background, my now ex and I dated for about three years in total. When I met him I wasn’t attracted to him, but he slowly courted me and made me fall in love with him. I had never had a relationship where I was in sooo in love, it was truly MAGICAL. We spent weekends together, we traveled, had tons of crazy amazing sex, my family loved him and vise versa plus much more. Anything you could wish for we had. We were that couple. It was really amazing.
Fast forward 9 months in, he starts acting different, taking me for granted, I try to work through it, I suggest counseling, everything and nothing from his end. 1.5 years he breaks it off with me, telling me really hurtful things. Heartbroken was an understatement. I cried for DAYS non stop, tried to rebound, tried to better myself bla bla bla.
Before we broke up I was deeply in love with him, I would have taken bullets for him, however shortly after our breakup, he began dating someone who according to him meant nothing to him. This helped me “move on”, however I was really hurt. This was the man I envisioned spending the rest of my life with, and to see him with another woman, so soon after our breakup was devastating.
fast forward 6 months after the breakup, he reaches out, I am still pissed, angry and heartbroken and he wanted to try again. Same typical “I made a mistake, youre the love of my life and bla bla bla”. After going crazy on him, I decide to give him a chance HOWEVER I resented him with my LIFE. Although I loved him I HATED HIM. how could he have done that to me and then come back two weeks after dumping that girl, BUT i took him back.
I made him go through HELL and BACK to be with me and basically nothing was enough. I COULDN’T get over the betrayal, I couln’t stop thinking about this girl. We break up AGAIN. A few months later we are back together trying again because I love the guy and I wan’t to try but the hurt and betrayal is still in my head. It’s like a cd replaying over and over again. It didn’t feel the same, everything was broken. I couldn’t trust him. Those “in love feelings” were gone. We lived together and I wasn’t excited to go home to him, yeah all broken.
I know that alot of people are going to say, but you werent together and I understand that very well but it was not my choice to ever break up. Plenty of people told me you guys were just in a relationship, is not like you were engaged or married which I understand as well but I didn’t need a ring to believe his words and promises that soon turned into empty promises and dissapointment. I didn’t want to break up therefore I continued to blame him over and over and over again.
Im here because Im sad im loosing a man that I truly love but just have to let go of. I often find myself entertaining other men, which I would have NEVER done before when we were in “love”, I find myself not stopping things from happening. We mutually decided to split up because we became toxic for one another. We both love each other but know that we are just not right for the other at least not right now. Who knows if maybe in the future but then again I might meet someone else who swweps me off my feet like he did.
I am not here for anyone to judge me but rather because im looking for some support. If anyone can share maybe their story, have you found real love again? how was breaking up with someone that you still love very much and care for them?. Has the heartache taught you anything. This is my first time being in this situation. I had never been in love before so I usually just break up and end things on a sour note until never.
Anyhow im just really sad because he was everything i’ve always wanted and more in a man, but he broke everything we had and now I just feel like i’ll never fall in love again. The thought of a real relationship makes me CRINGE. I don’t want to invest in anyone nonetheless get hurt again.