Post # 1
So my mom recently (and understandably) expressed her disappointment that Fiance and weren’t planning on asking my brother to be a groomsman, although we are including all of the other siblings in our bridal party. Fiance had already asked if I wanted to include my brother and my initial reaction was that it wasn’t necessary (when he got married, he didn’t ask anyone from our family to be part of the wedding) but that we would include him in some way such as being a greeter at the church. When it became clear that greeter wasn’t going to cut it, at least for my mom, we started consider making him a groomsman, but then it occurred to us–my brother would be the only member of the wedding party that does not speak Spanish. I don’t know that this is necessarily the end of the world, but I know that if I was in his position, I would feel very uncomfortable. At the same time, I think it would make everyone else uncomfortable to have to speak english all the time–especially at the bachelor party, although it could also be an issue at the reception because I would feel like we needed to seat him and his wife with english speakers–in other words, not with other members of the bridal party.
Has anyone had to deal with this? What did you do? I really do want to include my brother but I’m not sure if groomsman is the right role. (Also, reader is not an option because we most likely will have the readings in Spanish and Italian.)
Post # 3
That’s tough. Why not ask your brother what HE thinks? Despite your mother pressuring you, he may not even WANT to be a Groomsmen. I think you should get an idea of what he wants first.
Post # 4
I think being a greeter would be MORE difficult if many of your guests are spanish speaking. As for groomsman, yeh, not a big deal to include him or not. But when opposite (sex) family members are in a bridal party, they don’t necessarily need to attend the groom (or bride’s festivities) like the bachelor party.
Post # 5
I was recently the only non-spanish speaking bridesmaid. While it was tough, I knew that everyone understood me any time I said anything, and the bride, groom, and another bridesmaid spoke Engiish around me (and translated) as well. Most spanish speakers in the US understand English quite well, but simply prefer to speak Spanish. I was actually very surprised at how smooth the whole thing works – it’s not as awkward as you might think!
Post # 6
Thanks, especially to afbacher–it’s great to her from someone who has been in the situation. In this case, all of the groomsmen (and guests other than an abuela) speak english so it isn’t that they won’t be able to communicate with my brother or vice-versa–it’s just that I know they would much rather speak spanish and will be when they aren’t speaking directly to him.
Anyway, I think we are going to talk to him (probably not ’til Thanksgiving when we see each other) and ask him how he would like to participate and go from there.
Post # 7
I don’t really think it matters, and it’s kind of funny you even bring it up. Unless the other GMs ONLY speak Spanish. Is that the case? I had 6 BMs, 4 spoke Spanish, 2 didn’t. And I didnt think anything of it. The important thing is that you choose the people who support you the most, and you want to honor…has nothing to do with whether or not they can communicate perfectly with each other…IMO