(Closed) Brother being alienated?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Your brother has married a very controlling and insecure woman.  She is running his life and for whatever reasons he’s letting her.  IMO this is a very unhealthy marriage.  Your SIL is intentionally keeping him away from his family.  The more your brother is away from the family the more he becomes dependent on her and in her control.  My guess is that she isn’t “letting” him see his friends, either.  I don’t think there is much you can do other than talking to him about your feelings.  You can’t make someone see something they don’t want to see.    From what you said about your SIL’s parents sound like her.  Sounds like one screwed up family he’s married into. 

Post # 4
Member
834 posts
Busy bee

My long reply got lost, but I was suggesting you ask him how he feels about missing so many events. Tell him you miss him and wish you could see him more often. You might get a better gauge as to whether it is voluntary on his part. His wife might be controlling (abusive).

Post # 5
Member
2734 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I agree with PP, talk to your brother. If you used to be so close, you should be able to have these conversations with him. Maybe at the BBQ set up a time you and him can go out to lunch or something to talk. Then tell him how much you miss him and how it concerns you that he and his wife never come around anymore. Don’t be accusatory but really drive home the fact that you just love and miss him. Then maybe he’ll open up and have an explinaton

Post # 7
Member
746 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

HeatherD16:  I was lucky my brother married a woman that I like, at times, more than him lol   wouldn’t say were BBF but some of that has to do with distance – they live on the other side of the country.  But she was one of my BM’s in my wedding last year.  You’re situation with your SIL isn’t unique it can go either way.  And let’s face it your SIL isn’t making it easy.  Good Luck.

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