(Closed) Brother did not come to wedding

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 3
14 posts
  • Wedding: February 2012

My parents and I don’t get along.  I adore my sisters.  This may not be about you at all.  Trust me, if my sister decided to celebrate having her hair cut, I’d be there, but maybe he can’t.  Is there something going on with another family member you suspect? Maybe you don’t even know about it.

Do not personalize this.  The odds are this had nothing to do with you.  You are married and happy.  In time, perhaps he’ll express his happiness for you, but if not, this is on him, not you.

Post # 4
2853 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Did she actually give a price breakdown of their trip, or were you estimating? Could there be other factors at work?

I’m not trying to excuse her/their behavior, but I can empathize with being unable to muster even as much as $600 for a trip. As a student living on stipend, by this point, many of my friends make as much as six times what I bring in before taxes. In one instance, I had one of them trying to persuade me to come along on a trip, and tell me “you can stay with us. You just need to buy the plane ticket. It’s cheap.” and fail to grasp that the $600 is my entire income for the month after bills are paid (if that).

In any case.. I’m sorry to hear that your brother didn’t make it, and that things are strained. 🙁

Post # 5
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s hard to put a definate $ amount on someone else’s travel expenses. A trip to Vegas is airfare, hotel, taxis, meals, etc. When you have a destination wedding, you have to accept that not everyone can join. If your parents didn’t go, I’m not surprised your brother didn’t go.

Be careful not to put the blame all on the girlfriend. Maybe she’s not the best influence on him but he’s an adult and makes his own decisions. If you’re going to upset, be upset at him. He had a choice and he made it.

Post # 7
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

View original reply
@jazzyt31: Maybe he felt out of place since your daughter and your parents weren’t going that? Did any other family members go? Either way that is kind of sucky.

Post # 8
3942 posts
Honey bee

I dont blame you for being sad, I would be too 🙁

Post # 9
3135 posts
Sugar bee

what a minute. The Girlfriend actually posted

“Went away this weekend on a trip that only cost X amount of dollars”.

Post # 10
1277 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Wow all I can say is that you’re in a tough spot…you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t…no matter what you say it will taken out of proportion and you will be the bad guy…I would thread very carefully on this one…if your brother means that much to you, you may end up alienating him from your life, unfortunately you don’t have a say on who he dates, but if she has that much control over him then by bringing it up she may end up pulling him out of your life all together…sorry….hope  you can find a solution.

Post # 11
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I’m probably in the minority, but I don’t see why it’s a big deal your brother didn’t come. You left your daughter and parents at home.. why was he so important? Sometimes I think it’s best just to focus on yourself and be happy about your new marriage, you know?

The topic ‘Brother did not come to wedding’ is closed to new replies.

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