(Closed) Brother disrespecting family over money

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Geez,it sounds like a mess.Personally I would tell my brother,thats just who I am.I would tell him hes acting like a spoiled jackass.Our parents didnt have to give u anything,but they gave u some.Now u expect MORE?!?!

Parents dont ever have to put any money towards their childrens wedding unless they want to.

My brothers and I have gotten into arguments about our bahaviors.We still talk though.

It all depends on u and your family.Have u guys called each out on your behaviors before??

Hope it works out.Maybe having your brother and his other being away is good.If they only are around for the possibility of getting money,your parents should just be grateful that they dont have their kid hanging around them for money anymore.U can think about it like that.

Post # 5
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would try to talk to him if it was my brother. And I know how hard it is, I’ve seen my brother treat my parents this way (granted, he is quite a bit younger than yours) and it would kill me to not say anything.

However, if you show animosity towards his Fiance he will get defensive, as he should. How many posts have you seen here where the FI’s family is saying nasty things about the bride, and we all say that her Fiance needs to stick up for her? She is going to be his wife, his main family, so I wouldn’t say anything nasty about her, I’d focus the discussion on the money.

Post # 6
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Wonderstruck:Yes,dont diss the future wife,but try talking to him if u think it would help.If not then let it go.At least u and your family know the truth now.

Post # 7
Member
2095 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Is her family contributing at all to the wedding? Or is your family the only ones expected to contribute?

Post # 8
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh, this sucks. I would have a really hard time keeping my mouth shut, but if you say anything you should expect that brother and Future Sister-In-Law will stop talking to you as well. If you do talk to him emphasize 1) that your parents havent heard from him in a while and they are hurt/concerned and 2) in this economy, your parents financial situation may have been affected too and they might not have money to give out – they need to think of their own retirements.

Post # 9
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I wouldn’t not be able to say something if this were my brother.  He needs to be put in his place, and if this is how he is going to treat his family because of some chick, then maybe he does deserve to be “cut off” from the family. I would be livid if my brother treated my parents this way

Post # 10
Member
834 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@temporary: Wow, dick move. I would at least voice my displeasure. I mean, who cares if he gets pissed? Did he care about offending your parents? Just think about it.

Post # 11
Member
7405 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’d defintely call him out on it, but with expectation that he won’t care nor change.

Post # 12
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would probably say something because I tend to get myself in trouble by speaking without regard for pissing people off…. but I think his behaviour definitely needs a reality check.

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