(Closed) Brother drama

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
14480 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well, it could be worse… he could have set the date 3 weeks *before* your wedding.  People have known about your wedding in the works for much longer, I think that if they were already planning on attending yours, they would not suddenly change their plans and go to your brothers.  His inconsideration is to his family and guest more so than you.  I dont think you’re wrong to be upset, but you cant control the actions of others.  Just continue with your plans and enjoy your day.  And what a jerk for comparing rings like that!  For the bridal shower, that’s really up to you! If you like her brother gf, and both you dont mind it, it could be a nice joint party.  But if you are against it, tell her no, and that you dont want to a joint shower.

Post # 5
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@libs1990:  Your brother is the pathetic one. Do not let him hurt you anymore. Do NOT let him in your bridal party whatsoever. He is be a pain in your ass. Does your mother know how he is? I wish you could ban him from the wedding but that’s probably not an option.

You DO HAVE SAY in your shower. If your mother is being inconsiderate of your feelings, tell her you have someone else planning it. It is really the responsibility of your Maid of honor and your bridal party. Truthfully, you can tell her the truth: it is considered bad etiquett for a family member to plan the shower and you want someone else planning it. Do NOT let her ruin this for you. Every bride deserves a great shower.

Surround yourself with good bridesmaids and have them AND your husband run interference on your wedding day. I would have your husband have a ‘talk’ with your brother that he better not spoil the day for you.

Post # 6
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@libs1990:  If your mother insists on a joint shower, I would make make that your 2nd shower. Have this your “family” shower and then have your bridal party plan your first shower before the date your mother sets.

Post # 7
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I second what other people are saying.  A joint shower is convenient for your mom, but she should have told your brother that the date was inconvenient and he should reconsider.  Unless she’s pregnant in which case I guess I can see her wanting the wedding to be sooner rather than later, though it seems a little old-fashioned.  I guess I could see her figuring that it’s easier for family to travel to one shower, but you could always do two showers on the same weekend.

Do what LuvMySailor suggested, if she insists on a joint shower (honestly, I’m not saying that they’ll get divorced but it sounds like YOU aren’t confident that his marriage will last…I know I wouldn’t want to remember sharing my shower with someone who was once part of the family but isn’t anymore because of divorce) then ask your Maid/Matron of Honor if she can please put together a shower thrown by your friends.  I know that it’s considered bad etiquette to ask someone to throw a shower for you, but if you’re really close to your Maid/Matron of Honor it might be an okay question to ask and I bet that your friends would prefer that to going to a joint shower…would they need to get a gift for your Future Sister-In-Law too?  That would be so awkward.

Post # 8
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

That’s really awful. My little brother got engaged shortly after me, and is most likely going to get married before us – but it doesn’t bother me in the least because we’re not competitve siblings and I know he would never do anything to puposely try to “out-shine” me. Your brother? Well, pssssh. I would definitely be upset. I know that you can be a little selfish when you’re planning your wedding but he’s ONLY thinking of himself. Regardless of how he’s being with you he’s also making this difficult for the entire family.

As for the joint shower? NO way! Sorry, but if I were invited as your guest to a joint shower I would feel so awkward. Are all people invited supposed to get gifts for both brides? And what about people who can’t afford to go out and spend money on double gifts like that? It sounds like your family needs to be a bit more considerate of not only you, but all of the guests as well.

 

Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@libs1990:  Also, keep your wedding ideas to yourself. Don’t give your brother any lieway to copy you!

Post # 10
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

Oh Wow! What a horrible person.

My advice – Don’t play his game. He obviously enjoys hurting you and competing with you, so don’t give him any news that he can use to try to “outdo” you (ie. don’t give him any details about your theme, venue or anything at all wedding related).

The topic ‘Brother drama’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors