Post # 17
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
@Day_In_The_Life: “Did I mention he and his Fiance are unemployed and have all the time in the world to work on their wedding?”
I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here, but what you’re saying *really* comes across as if you deserve to have your way because your brother is unemployed. You’re allowed to get married when you want, so is he. His life doesn’t stop because you got engaged, and vice versa. You really sound like you’re not happy for him, don’t have a very loving relationship and are just really self-centred. I hope I’m reading your tone wrong.
Post # 18
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
@SweetChick: I never said it wasn’t. 🙂
Post # 19
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
You’re upset that his wedding is three weeks before yours and then you also complain about him setting ‘dibs’ on his date?!
That pretty much sounds to me like you would be upset no matter when/where he planned it. He was trying to give you a heads up. What if you had both picked the SAME date because he hadn’t done this? Then you would be on here being angry because they picked the same date!
From what you have said he picked his date first (and called to inform you) and THEN you picked yours. Why would you pick a date so close to your brother’s if this was a concern?
Post # 20
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee
I don’t understand the sad face in your title.
My first thought would have been to type a happy face.
I think your energies would be much better spent on thinking of ways to support and celebrate his upcoming marriage rather than comparing your budget to his budget. This is not some kind of race or contest.
Post # 21
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
I agree with you being irritated about him asking you for help. I understand your point about neither of them being unemployed, which gives them plenty of time to plan their own wedding without help fro you, who workd full time and planning your own wedding.
As far as the dates go, stuff like that happens. Just deal with it. Your family will attend one or both if they can. Send out STD ASAP!
Post # 22
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
@Luayne: Exactly.
Sounds like you “claimed” to him all of the end of August/September which is ridiculous in itself, they picked August 10th (before you picked a date) so why didn’t you pick a different date if you are so worried abou them being so close together and worried about Out of Town guests? That doesn’t make any sense to me. And to continuously say that they are unemployed sounds absolutely snobby in my opinion. Getting married isn’t about having money, they love each other and feel they are ready to get married, as his sister you should be supportive. I have seen SO many of these posts about people getting all bent out of shape because people get married in the same month as them, etc and it’s just crazy to me. Is it REALLY going to matter when it’s all said and done? Whoever is going to come to your wedding will, whoever is going to go to theirs will and there’s really nothing anyone can do abou it. Just focus on the positive…you’re both marrying the loves of your lives.
Post # 23
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
It sounds like you wanted support and instead, you’re not getting much help here 🙁 I’m sorry that your wedding is so close to your brother’s. I agree that the best thing to do is send out your STD’s as quickly as possible to increase the chances that out-of-town guests will attend. On a positive note, you’ll get to see exactly how to throw a wedding three weeks before yours happen. Consider it good practice. You’ll be a pro when your day rolls around.
Post # 24
Member
1863 posts
Buzzing bee
I’d be annoyed too if it was three weeks away from mine, but only because of the Out of Town guests. I’d hope they’d be able to go to both though I’m sure some won’t be able to. Keep in mind that many of them may end up going to your wedding and not his. You need to send STDs out ASAP! I’m also wondering why your brother is asking you about his wedding plans. Shouldn’t his bride be the person doing most of this? Along with her friends and family if she enlisted their help? What exactly does he want you to do?
Post # 25
Member
504 posts
Busy bee
I know everyone and their mom is going to tell you that you get a day and not a month- but being someone who has a huge percentage of Out of Town guests, if FI’s sib moved her wedding closer to ours it would be a logistical nightmare. I get that because it becomes a massive financial strain on guests and affects your attendance.
The other stuff is just normal zilla pettiness. It’s not classy, but we all show our arse while stressed and planning. Also the Bee should be where you go to rent/vant/act a fool as opposed to IRL
Post # 26
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
@rainbowglitterbride: Giving support means giving constructive feedback, advice and sharing wisdom. It doesn’t mean blowing smoke and validating someone’s unhealthy feelings.
Post # 27
Member
5427 posts
Bee Keeper
So your brother is unemployed and so is his fiancee, so they have all the time in the world to plan their wedding…. and you and your fiance are working, and don’t have the all the time in the world to plan your wedding.
So. Maybe he is asking for your help because he values your opinion? He knows you can do stuff better than he and is fiancee? He wants to include you because he LOVES you? Think about it 😀
Post # 28
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
-He picked his date before you picked a date. Why didn’t you pick a date 2, 3, 4, 5, or 6 months later?
-His employment status has no bearing on the wedding dates being 3 weeks apart so there’s no need to constantly bring it up
-Wanting a better wedding or to get married first are NOT reasons to get married. An adult wants to get married in order to legally and symbolically commit to the person they love.
-If he’s upset that you can’t help him out, then that’s for him to deal with. You’re busy, tell him you have to go to work, and then get on with your day.
Post # 29
Member
11265 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
as pp stated, you get 1 day. your brother gets 1 day. who cares if he is unemployed and where he lives. you should stay mature about this.
as for oot guests, for family members or close friends, i would definitely travel a reasonable distance to attend both weddings. just make sure that you send out your std’s.
is your wedding is on labour day weekend? i personally would be more concerned about guests attending due to the last long weekend of the summer than guests going to your brother’s wedding over yours.
Post # 30
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
He picked his date first so if anyone should be upset it should be him, not you.
Post # 31
Member
1332 posts
Bumble bee
We are not close and never have been. He is asking my help because I have alrady done the majority of my research for DJ, Photo, SOD, invite, etc so I have a full spread sheet of prices and things like that. He knows this and simply does not want to put in the work himself. He has always been this way…wanting other people to do the hard work and he just makes the choice.
As for him being unemployed, I know the economy is tough and finding a job sucks, it has nothing to do with money and I do hope he finds a job soon. But that being said, he has alot of time to do the research that I did while working. He just is kinda lazy about it and wants it to be easy.
I did tell him I did not have time to help. Does not mean he is still asking for it becasue he knows I have already done the work.
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