Post # 32
This probably isn’t an option for you, but my moms brother and sister had their respective weddings on either ends of one week (one weekend after the other) purposefully so that their oot family would only have to come once. It was quite a party 🙂
Post # 33
Out-of-town guests are a legitimate concern, but I get the impression that’s an afterthought for you – jealousy and competition are at the forefront. Hey, it happens to the best of us. What’s an issue is handling it.
I agree: sending out Save the dates ASAP is important. Let everybody know ASAP what’s going on so they can make arrangements/get time off/reserve rooms. If you and your brother were on better speaking terms, I’d even suggest moving the weddings closer together – a week apart, so hopefully the first to marry would be back from honeymoon in time for the second wedding. It would also lessen the strain on relatives – being out for a week instead of traveling twice.
I would just be prepared now for the idea that many relatives may opt out of going to one wedding or to both. How many guests are from out of town anyway?
Post # 34
My mother’s entire family is out of town guests….those are the main ones I am concerned about. I guess I would be hurt if they came for his and not mine…I use to go up to their side of the country for holidays like Thanksgiving and some breaks from school for almost 10 years, whereas I know my brother does not even know most of their names.
Post # 36
I agree a couple gets one day but at the same time, three weeks before your wedding is basically when you get everything finalized with your vendors and head into your final preparations so i do understand the reason for concern in that aspect. My friend actually skipped my wedding at the last minute because she needed more time to prepare for hers which was three weeks after mine. And it was understandable.
You should see if you can get a discount with your DJ, photographer, etc if your brother books them too. Some vendors give discounts to the people who recommended them if the other couple books. So it might actually be worth it to share your list with your brother.
As for the family, I agree with the PPs who said to send your save the dates soon. If you’re close to your family they’ll try their best to make it out to both weddings. And based on your last post, it sounds like you may be closer to your family than your brother is? If that’s the case, your family may make more of an effort to make it to your wedding if it’s too much for them to go to both.