(Closed) Brother-in-law's second wife alienating PART of the family

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
46612 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Why are women so quick to blame the other woman? She didn’t break up his marriage- he did. He was the one who was married.

If his kids are old enough to have their own children, they are old enough to get over the fact that their Dad’s marriage didn’t work for him. As much as we are all joyously planning our weddings or revelling in our marriages on this site, the reality is that many of us are going to end up divorced.

Wife #2 may be a wingnut, but again he is the one who cut off communication with you. He could have made a different choice and told her that he was not going to cut off contact with his brother.

You have nothing to be  ashamed about  and need to drop that and move on. You acted as caring supportive family member, and nothing more, when his marriage ended. You are not responsible for how his new wife chooses to interpret your relationship with her husband. She clearly has some insecurities about her own relationship. Maybe because he cheated on wife #1 to be be with her? and she thinks he might do the same to her?

I would recommend you back off and let his adult children deal with their Dad in their own way. Yes. it’s sad that his grandchildren don’t have a relationship with him, but it’s not your problem to solve, despite your best intent.

Post # 4
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@julies1949:  While I would probably try to put it a bit moe gently, I’ve got to second this.


He is the one who is cutting off communication from you. No other person can force him to do this. And as sweet as it is for you to want to help mend the rift he is creating between himself and his own children, there’s nothing you can do. Try to be there for them as much as you can. Aside from that, it isn’t your place to jump in and mend his broken fences.

Post # 5
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

BiL’s made his own bed. Mr. Mac and his father do not speak. His dad left his mother and all of his siblings for another woman and doesn’t talk to them. While I know how much it hurt Mr. Mac for a long time and that it was difficult to accept, he’s moved on and is a better person for it, honsetly. It’s hard as hell to watch people you care about suffering but as the saying goes, this too shall pass. Leep the famly close that you love and loves you back and let BiL face his own (albeit confusing and hurtful) decisions.

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