(Closed) Brother in the Wedding? Need Objectivity

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should I ask my brother to be my Man of Honor?
    Yes, ask him. : (8 votes)
    42 %
    No, do not ask him. : (10 votes)
    53 %
    I have something to say that isn't "yes" or "no" and I will explain in a comment. : (1 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    709 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    Just ask him. Say something along the lines of the fact that you’d really like him to participate in your wedding and offer him Man of Honor. Unless, of course, you don’t want him up there. Is there anything else he can do? I would just suggest an open and frank conversation with him:)

    Post # 5
    284 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    If you really want someone there, and if you want to honor him then I think it sounds like a lovely idea. If you believe that you will continue to be close with him and doubt you will regret it, I see nothing wrong.

    I was really nervous to ask FI’s favorite cousin to be one of my BMs, and she was incredibly honored and touched, so if he is your brother, I bet he would be even moreso.

    Post # 6
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think that if you have doubts, then I wouldn’t ask. If you felt like your relationship with your brother were that strong, then you would have already asked him to participate. You asked yourself: are we close enough? I think that’s your answer right there.

    Nothing wrong with having no one stand up next to you. I think the people that do stand up should be your closest and dearest family and/or friends–people who you know will have your back no matter what.

    There are other ways to honor family besides standing up in your wedding. You can personally thank them during your reception during your speech or something. Don’t feel pressured by your parents at this late date. Besides, extending the invitation to him now may feel a little awkward, since he will not have been prepared for some of the duties that a Maid/Matron of Honor (I just noticed that works both ways! haha!) would normally pursue. Although, on the other hand, I doubt that most men care about those formalities.

    Post # 7
    3261 posts
    Sugar bee

    No one on wedding bee can answer this for you, except yourself. Do you want him to be your Man of Honor? If you do, ask him. 

    Post # 9
    5822 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I wouldn’t ask him.  You don’t need to reciprocate.  You have invited him, and he is coming, and you sound really happy about that.  But when you talk about having anyone stand up with you it sounds like that makes you unhappy.

    I think this is a case of your parents saying “Wouldn’t that be nice” and not considering your feelings on it.  You love him, but you don’t feel you need anyone to stand up with you at your wedding.  Just explain that to your parents and ask them to stop guilting you into it.

    Post # 10
    3942 posts
    Honey bee

    @BostonBaby: I probably wouldnt ask him. I mean, if all you expect of him is to stand next to you, then whats the difference if he is sitting with everyone else?

    It sounds like you were happy with your original decision, and this is just adding stress to your happy day 🙂

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