(Closed) Brother-Inlaw Drama

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@loveus:  Can you be more specific as to what your BIL has done?

A lot of bees are going to tell you that you can’t divided a married couple. Also, if you tell her sister her husband is not invited than she may not come as well.

I’m sorry you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Is there a way he can come and be warned before the wedding to be on his best behavior?

Post # 4
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I also agree be more specific about what he has done.

Unless he has done something extremely drastic, I don’t think you can do that. That is her husband and it is extremely disrespectful to request that she attend without him, and it may cause irreparable harm to your relationship.

Post # 5
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

You really can’t do that—- so if you are omitting him from your wedding, you sister can not be there either. I would tell her now and get it over with as maybe that pressure coming from her will help correct things.

Post # 6
Member
2711 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unless he threatened you, commited a crime against you, or tried to sleep with you or your Fiance, you must invite him with your sister.  You cannot split up married couples.  Not only is it extremely rude, but it will put your sister in a terrible position and create even more drama.  I also do not think wedding’s are an appropriate time to pass judgement on people’s SOs.

Post # 7
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

Your wedding isn’t for 10 months, I would hold off on making a decision about this. Maybe once you have cooled down from whatever happened this weekend your feelings will change.

Post # 8
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 1999

@RunsWithBears:  ” Not only is it extremely rude, but it will put your sister in a terrible position and create even more drama. “

This!

Post # 9
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

What happened?

Post # 10
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@loveus:  I agree wiht PP, unless he tried to hurt you in some way you need to think of your sister. Either let her not come without guilt or let him come and ask her to keep him calm.

Family is sticky but you can’t expect to split a married couple and expect that to be ok.

Post # 12
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@loveus:  Would your sister be comfortable going to your wedding alone? Would she be offended if he was not invited?

Post # 13
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@loveus:  Yeaaaah he didn’t commit a crime or anything then you have to invite him and your sister. You cannot invite 1/2 of a married couple. You can always invite him and talk to your sister about it. 

Post # 15
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@loveus:  If she is in agreement, I would not invite him, especially if he is a jerk to everyone.

Post # 16
Member
1895 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think you need to invite him- with hopes that he doesnt want to come or she(sister) wont bring him. Be the bigger person. Not inviting him IMO is getting down to his level. There are going to be many people at your wedding, that if he does show up, you wont have to worry about him. Its your sisters place to keep him in line.

BE THE BIGGER PERSON.

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