Post # 1
…and I don’t want to be a bridezilla, but I’m not exactly thrilled. He says he will “do the best they can” not to interfere with our wedding and events related to our wedding. Thing is, he has been married before, and this is my first marriage — I’m really starting to freak out. I basically told him that the month of my wedding and the two months leading up to it are going to be busy for us, but we don’t know exact dates of things like bachelor parties and bridal showers. Oh, and his daughters are in our wedding.
To give you an idea of how compassionate he can be… I found out he was engaged via Facebook.
Just kind of needed to vent. Anyone else in/been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?
Post # 3
Not a bridezilla, I think it’s totally fair for you to feel a little hurt. It’s how you act on those feeling that could land you in the bridezilla zone; not the feelings themselves
I hear you though: my FI’s cousin (grown man, with grown kids from his first marriage) just announced that he and his new girlsfriend are eloping to Vegas in early September. And he & his kids are trying to organise a “Jack & Jill” and a “wedding celebration party” over Facebook. They keep suggesting dates where we already have things planned; or the weeknd before our wedding.
If my FSILs are doing a great job of not-so-gently reminding them that we’ve had our wedding events planned for months, I think I would fell much more frustrated and offended. It’s nice to have other people offended FOR you.
Post # 4
Has he or his fiance set a date or anything yet? Do you know if they will be getting married around the same time as you? Given that his daughters are in your wedding, I would hope they would have the sense to space the weddings out a little so his daughters don’t have too much expense piled on them at once (I daresay they will be part of his wedding too). Having said that, though, I think it’s a little bridezilla-ish to expect them to make drastic changes to their plans to fit in around yours. I doubt I would change my wedding plans by more than a couple of weeks for someone else.
As for finding out he was engaged via facebook…isn’t that kinda the norm now? Most of my family found out we were engaged through facebook – everyone else got a text (pretty compassionless, I know).
Post # 5
Yep. We have similar stories. My first wedding, my brother’s second. I got engaged last September. 6 months later, he got engaged. They set their wedding date 3 weeks before ours (mind you, we set our wedding date literally a week after we got engaged). I’ve been practicing my calm breathing a lot. 🙂
Post # 6
- Wedding: July 2014 - Barn
Yeah same thing happened here with FI’s cousin. Slightly bugged me since they met, got pregnant and now engaged (been together not even a year when this happened). Meanwhile, we’ve been together 5 years. Although they have their date set for next summer, I’m fine with it now especially since who dunnos if they’ll last, and also we have the year to focus on the house and etc then it’ll be “our turn”
Hope they respect your wedding time.
Post # 7
I’ve been engaged since March. He got engaged yesterday. His excuse is that the venues they would want (they already know the venue?!) are going to be booking up and they might not have much of a choice. If anyone would have to make drastic changes, it would be us (which I refuse to do).
I think I’m mostly peeved at his comment about “doing their best.” Doing your best not to interfere with my wedding, that I have been planning for months already? Should it really be that difficult?
Ugh. Vent #2 over…
Post # 8
Sorry, I don’t see a problem. Your wedding date is 13 months away. Is he meant to put his life on hold for 13 months? So long as his wedding isn’t too close to yours (like in the few weeks before) it won’t interfere.
Post # 9
My BIL got married 10 days after us at our honeymoon location and guess what we were thrilled. I don’t get being upset about someone else especially a sibling getting married near you. So instead of being happy for them starting their new life together (in the same way they are happy for you) you would prefer to pout like a child?
Be happy for them and the fact that they have found each other the same way that others will be happy fro you and your FI!
Post # 10
My sister is about to get engaged and we just got engaged a month ago. We are going dress shopping together. I don’t see it being a big deal as long as you work it out with your bro so your dates are far enough apart. See it as an opportunity to collaborate or go dress shopping with your bro’s fiance sounds like it could actually be a lot of fun! 🙂
Have you thought about a double wedding? hehe jk
Post # 11
I’m with PPs. I’m not sure what the big deal is. They will do their best to make sure not to interfere with your wedding, but you can’t expect them to put everything on hold until you get married. I think as long as they don’t get married within +/- 2 months of your wedding everything should be fine.
Post # 12
Yeah, something similar happen to us. We got engaged in May and set our date for next July. (We’ve both never been married). His sister (who was married before) got engaged in Aug, and set her date for April…. and it was a destination wedding. Honestly, it wasn’t a really big deal being about 2.5 months before ours cause my events were within two weeks of our wedding and luckily money wasnt an issue so we didnt have to struggle to get to her wedding. I think it was tougher on the family though, I think his parents had to cancel their planned vacation because of her wedding.
Post # 13
That would bother me too, only because I know when I tell somebody “I’ll do my best” it’s because I’m skeptical that I’m going to be able to do it at all. I hope that he just used poor word choice, don’t let it get you down!
Post # 14
I’m sorry but I don’t get it either. You want him to wait over a year to get on with his life because it might take away from you? I honestly don’t understand this trend of people wanting an entire wedding year to themselves. Other people have lives too. I’m sure he’ll be considerate and not book a wedding a few weeks away from yours. Other than that I can’t see a problem.
As for the facebook thing, I would be upset about that. Are you close?
Post # 15
@peanutbutter1205: I honestly don’t understand this trend of people wanting an entire wedding year to themselves. Other people have lives too. I’m sure he’ll be considerate and not book a wedding a few weeks away from yours. Other than that I can’t see a problem.
THIS! News flash….other people get married as well, including friends and relatives.
Post # 16
So several posters (including OP) have implied that because someone is marrying for the second time it isn’t as legitimate or important as the first time? How wedding industry. Only young, thin, white, first-time brides are the correct kind of bride right?