Brother just picked date 2 months before mine…not happy

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 136
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

Why the hell have you not dumped her crazy ass? Is this how you want your life to be? Because she is showing you her true character and it is not attractive at all.

By staying with her while she continues with this bullshit you are essentially telling her and your family that you support and condone her unreasonable behavior. Do you really want her to alienate you from your family?

Post # 137
Member
377 posts
Helper bee

what the F**k?! 

have I read that right?!…she’s pissed and giving you ultimatums because their wedding is planned TWO MONTHS before yours?! 

Two months?! Who does she think she is?! 

My heart bleeds for you

Post # 138
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
sboom :  Okay I think perhaps I’ve been a bit catty. OP does deserve to seek and get advice about things that bother him, from whatever source he chooses. Guys sometimes don’t have the support that women have so yeah, my bad. 

OP from what you’ve said your fiancé sounds pretty unhinged. It sounds a bit manipulative. Good luck with figuring out what to do! 

Post # 139
Member
11404 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
happyjuju :  thanks, bee. I was just being called here to say men are just as entitled to post as women. Appreciate you correcting it before I had to! 

Post # 140
Member
1635 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I think it is concerning that this happened over a month ago. Your fiance didn’t just have a melt-down, come to her senses, and apologize to everyone. Instead, she has dug-in. While I don’t get the upset on having a wedding occur two months before yours, I think I could understand this, if she had realized she over-reacted and apologized to you- and everyone else, after.

But, she hasn’t. Instead, she is issuing ultimatums designed to hurt you and others. She seems to have no regard for you- or, anyone that you love. I think this tells you a great deal about who she is as a person. Your brother may have inadvertently done you a great favor here- it gives you an opportunity to see how your potential spouse would treat you and your family when things do not go exactly the way she would like them.

Are you sure you want to sign up for a lifetime of this? Canceling a wedding is much cheaper- financially and emotionally- than a divorce.

 

Post # 141
Member
3322 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

View original reply
happyjuju :  it’s always nice when a person acknowledges they were wrong or inappropriate, so I appreciate that. Good on ya. 

Men do have it especially hard when it comes to dealing with their emotions and we all need to do better at supporting and listening to them when they speak. 

Post # 142
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2006

Whoa….she’s nuts. And vindictive. And immature. And spiteful. And selfish. And NUTS. Who acts like this????!! 

My 11 year old is more reasonable, and she’s going through puberty! All the moms out there with tween/teen daughters, can I get an amen! And a Valium. 

But seriously, do you really REALLY want to live the rest of your life like this? Because lemme tell ya, after nearly 13 years of marriage I can attest to the fact that it’s only going downhill from here. 

Don’t give into her ridiculous demands and for Pete’s sake, stop enabling her and put your foot down! It’s your BROTHER for crying out loud! If she doesn’t realize how this affects you, she doesn’t give a damn about you or your feelings.

You get ONE DAY. One. Period. If you do go through with the wedding, good luck! 

Post # 143
Hostess
9127 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
happyjuju :  I am pleased to inform you that this isn’t a women’s forum. Its a wedding forum and OP along with any member of any gender is welcome. 

Post # 145
Bee
5098 posts
Bee Keeper

You’re really going to regret marrying this jealous little prima donna. You’re walking into this wearing blinders and covering your ears. 

I give your marriage 5 years. That’s a long time to live with a narcissist. 

Post # 147
Member
3322 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

View original reply
bobtref3 :  dude… Please tell me you’re not still considering marrying her…

Post # 149
Member
1050 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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bobtref3 :  I would at least postpone the wedding even if she says your brother can go now. I would really reevaluate if this is the person I would marry.

We all lose our minds sometimes, but this has gone on for a while. 

Post # 150
Member
936 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
bobtref3 :  it wouldn’t be giving up. It would be dodging a bullet. “Not giving up” doesn’t mean you’re forced to marry a horrible person. 

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