Brother just picked date 2 months before mine…not happy

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
4926 posts
Honey bee

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bobtref3 :  “Disowning your family and breaking off your wedding if you go to your brother’s wedding”…Uhuh.

Post # 17
Member
2170 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

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bobtref3 :  but still there’s no real rational reason that she can be upset with your brother. Did she apologize about the ultimatum??

Post # 18
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

I’ve seen other people post on this site about freaking out about this issue from basically your fiancee’s perspective. Of course it’s not actually a problem and she is overreacting in a concerning way. Especially because it’s two months not like a week difference. Don’t give in to her tantrum!

Post # 19
Member
4902 posts
Honey bee

Well, good luck if you go through with your wedding because you are likely setting yourself up for a lifetime of this if she is acting like this now.  Heaven forbid anyone in your family decide to have kids in the same year as you when the time comes.

Post # 20
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

This is petty af. This is one of the risks of having a long engagement. Everyone isn’t required to have a long engagement just because she choose to and that means that people will get engaged and married before you get married. People are allowed to plan things withing a TWO MONTH time span of her wedding. This is crazy all around. You need to reevaluate this person. 

Post # 22
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

View original reply
bobtref3 :  yea this is ridiculous, I’m sorry you are dealing with this. So your family or friends cannot have their own lives because you two decided to have a wedding two years after you got engaged? You two could have got engaged two years ago by going to a courthouse after work as well. But I assumed you guys decided it work best for you to get married at that date without considering your family or anyone else. Her friend considered her wedding date that work for her and not yours. Your brother and his fiance chose their date that work with them.  Your brother didn’t do anything wrong. I guess you will be right to be upset and angry if he chose the same date as you or days before. I would sit down with your fiance and rationalize this and put a stop to the ridiculous tantrums.

Post # 23
Member
5571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

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bobtref3 :  

have you talked about it since then? If it was some kind of one off overreaction she should have been apologizing to you by now.

Post # 26
Member
939 posts
Busy bee

Show her these posts so she can see how literally everyone thinks she’s being crazy. 

Post # 28
Member
5571 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

She needs time to think about if she is going to ask you to disown your family?

I would take time to think about who you might be marrying.

Post # 29
Member
10353 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Girlfriend is being crazypants.

If she’s normally a pretty levelheaded person maybe she’s just having a moment and will calm down and get over it. And if she doesn’t calm down and get over it, you’re dodging a bullet. 

Post # 30
Member
7595 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would not dick around waiting for her to “realize it on her own” – I would tell her now, in no uncertain terms, that this is an unacceptable reaction to something that most people wouldn’t even consider a faux pas, and that you’re not gonna be manipulated by her ridiculous ultimatum. If she really feels this strongly then she’s free to walk out the door, but you never want to hear her mention this subject again because it is so disrespectful to you and your family.

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