Brother just picked date 2 months before mine…not happy

posted 1 year ago in Engagement
Post # 91
Member
359 posts
Helper bee

My initial thought is that if she gets this emotional, demanding, and irrational over this, what will in be like after you are legally bound to her? Will she feel even more controlling? What about raising children with her (if you two choose to be parents)? 

This is a huge red flag. H-U-G-E. 

Post # 92
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

bobtref3 :  your fiance is a legit bridezilla RUN TO THE HILLS!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! 

Post # 93
Member
3038 posts
Sugar bee

bobtref3 :  Has she ever acted like this about other stuff before? As in bratty, unreasonable, stubborn?

If not, then maybe she is very overwhelmed with work or planning whatever and needs some time to calm down. However, it doesnt sound like this is a one-off kind of deal?

She is putting her dream day before your marriage and future life. 

Post # 95
Member
72 posts
Worker bee

bobtref3 :  Have you had a chance to sit down and speak with her? Has she apologized yet? 

Post # 96
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Forest Grove, OR

What does it matter that it’s 2 months before yours? It’s not like it’s 2 DAYS before. Sounds like she just wants all the attention and hype to be on her and she can’t be happy if someone else gets any. Even if she is just overreacting, that’s a really messed up ultimatum to give and I would question whether you’re making the right decision marrying her. 

Post # 97
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

She has every intention of separating you from your family. So, she is using this as a reason to. Don’t fall for it. People who isolate others from their families and friends are often abusive.

Post # 98
Member
762 posts
Busy bee

Lol why is she a two year old having a temper tantrum. I wouldn’t want to play parent to my husband or wife.

Post # 99
Member
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

bobtref3 :  

OP I think you need to stop acting  as if she is a little out of line , or justifiably annoyed and entitled to punish people ( that’s if her absence would actually be a punishment  …)  adn it OK to give he rtiem to think etc 

 None of this is remotely acceptable and you need to tell her so ,  and that she can not possibly forbid you to see your family etc . If she is serious , then you have a decison to make and she needs to  know it  . That is, she needs to know that you  will decide to keep your family and your sanity  and,  sadly,  lose her .

Post # 100
Member
3832 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

It wouldn’t even be reasonable to get mildly upset about this. Other people can get married and 2 months is loads of time in between. It’s not like everyone will be sitting around two months out with nothing better to do than think about your wedding. She’s being bizarrely bridezilla. 

Post # 101
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

Maybe she feels as if there’s some competition between your brother and you guys?

She’s waited 2 years for a wedding and maybe that’s given her too much time to build it up in her head. Then this happens. Like I’m having a nearly 2 year long engagment. It does stuff to you, man. 

If she’s never done something like this before I’d just let it slide and bring it up casually in a week. 

Don’t we all act crazy sometimes? 

 

 

Post # 102
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

This is a BIG red flag. I would run. Fast and far. Talk of disowning family and breaking off a wedding over something THIS silly?! Wow. Just wow.

Post # 103
Member
945 posts
Busy bee

Any update OP? Did you talk with your FI?

Post # 105
Member
5575 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

bobtref3 :  

It’s been a month. A MONTH. And she’s still forcing you to face consequences for your brother having the audacity to plan his wedding TWO MONTHS before yours? Not allowing your brother to be in the wedding is a consequence to you.

What is her reasoning for her not wanting him to be in the wedding?

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