- 8 years ago
- Wedding: July 2010
I’m hoping to get some honest feedback on post-wedding issue. Thank in advance for your input.
My husband and I were engaged in September 2009 and married in August 2010. After getting engaged, we immediately decided on our 8/10 wedding date. A couple months later, my brother, and officer in the Marines, let me know that he had volunteered to go to Afghanistan. His leave/return dates were up in the air, but he was tentatively set to be gone January – October of 2010.
We decided to keep the date as planned, even though we knew that doing so meant he couldn’t make it, for the following reasons:
1. My brother and I have never really been that close.
2. Our original date worked well for the rest of my family, including my three other brothers, my grandma who has alzheimers, my grandpa who has cancer, my husband’s grandparents who are in poor health, and most of the rest of the guests.
3. My brother’s Afghanistan dates were never set in stone. Everyone kept telling me that his time there would most likely be extended, and with that in mind, I didn’t know when he’d actually be back. He seemed to be more sure that he’d be back in October, but I was hearing this from former military who had already been overseas.
4. A family member allowed us to use their vacation home/backyard for their wedding. It’s not big enough for an indoor wedding, but perfect for an outdoor wedding. Weather is only good there in the summer, so waiting would have meant putting the wedding off until the following summer.
5. My husband mom doesn’t like me, and therefore his dad doesn’t either, and they don’t support our marriage. My husband was getting regular pressure to break things off. He handled it very well, but I really wanted to get married sooner than later so that the pressure would stop.
6. By the time my brother’s plans were finalized, we had already done a lot of work on the wedding & original date, including printing save the dates, letting people know verbally, booking vendors, etc.
7. We were ready to get married. We honestly just didn’t want to put it off any longer.
At this point, the wedding is behind us so we can’t change anything. But, it’s still a major sore spot for my brother and is causing a lot of arguments, so I’m just trying to figure out if we really were out of line by not waiting.
Thanks again in advance for any input you guys can offer.