(Closed) Brother overseas & wedding without him

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am getting married this year without my brother because of the Army and I am crushed about it.  My brother and I are really close as am I with my SIL who was supposed to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.  I cried over it for weeks, but this is the life that they chose and I support that life.  It sucks, but that is what it is to be military.  You know that you will miss weddings, funerals, birthdays, and even births.  He can be as upset as he wants to be, but it is a consequence of the life that he chose. 

Post # 4
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with tks, your brother is doing a great service but it is one that he chose. You two had set your date taking many things into consideration, and then he volunteered to go, with no specific dates that could be given. While it’s unfortunate that you are having issues about it now, between the vagueness of his leave/return dates and the fact that everything lined up and was planned before he volunteered, I don’t think you were out of line by continuing on with your plans.

I hope that things can be patched up. Maybe a heart to heart with him about involving your grandparents and the way that plans had worked out before he volunteered to go and couldn’t provide a concrete return date to plan off of will help out the situation. Either way, enjoy your new marriage and celebrate your love with your husband and try not to worry about the arguments (especially tomorrow on V-day!). 

Post # 5
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Your post makes it sound as if your brother knew of your wedding date before he decided to go back to Afghanistan (your post also makes it sound as if it was his choice and he wasn’t just deployed).   If both of these things are correct then I think you were absolutely justified in going ahead with your plans.  While I am sure you are both disappointed he wasn’t there, what is done is done…time to move on.

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