Bucket List Before Having Children

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
1944 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

sarathemermaid :  We are hoping to try to conceive in the fall, after we celebrate our wedding anniversary 

Post # 32
2517 posts
Sugar bee

The main things for me are:

1) Get married

2) Move out of NYC, to someplace with milder winters and a more affordable cost of living (hopefully in 1-2 years)

3) Either buy a house, OR rent a larger apartment or small house. While we hope to be able to buy a house soon, I don’t think home ownership is necessary to having kids. But I DO want to live somewhere that at least includes: a dishwasher, in-unit laundry, more than 1 bedroom, and a bathtub. 

There are other things that would be nice to do, like traveling, but mostly I want to move someplace with good weather and more space, and set up a nice home whether rented or owned.

Post # 33
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

We started ttc for two cycles in November, or at least we were not protecting and then decided to pause until the spring. We were going through some stuff and needed to concentrate on other things before commiting to ttc. When we got married our bucket list was : one more big trip- which we’ve had, buy a house -which we did, make more money – both of us got new and better jobs, go to more plays/concerts/really indulge in hedonism – that’s pretty much what 2017 was. We’re both travellers, have lived abroad, and so honestly there’s always one more trip we want to squeeze in there, but after we go on our trip this month we’ll fully commit to trying to conceive. As a woman who was on the fence about having kids/ staying child free for most of my life, I finally now know I really really want them, and my husband is ready too. Not everyone needs to cross things off a list especially if you want to have kids more than anything, but I didn’t want a child more than anything until now, so for me it was so important to not feel like I’ll be missing out on these things I’ve set myself to do. I’m 31, will be close to 32 by the time we start and so I do worry about it being a lengthy process especially as I was diagnosed with endometriosis but I can’t beat myself up for not starting earlier as we just weren’t ready.

Post # 34
142 posts
Blushing bee

Get my bachlors and have a stable job. I feel like I cant plan anything until I hit those marks *sigh* 

Post # 35
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m all baby fever at the moment! Our to do list is tie the knot in September, and buy a house (hopefully in 2018). I can’t TTC before May anyway as I would only get basic maternity instead of a whole year off, as I started a new job in October and I’d need to be there a year by 26 weeks pregnant.

I think my Fiance would like to be earning a bit more than we are now, at the moment I earn more – but ideally for childcare anyway I’d drop 2 days a week, he’d drop a day a week, and our parents would step in a day a week on each side to cover us, so the salary discrepancy isn’t too much of an issue.

It’s not a long list but it feels huge at the moment!

Post # 36
3199 posts
Sugar bee

Ours were things like travel, buy a house, have settled careers, get started on making semi-retirement at 50 a possibility, and enjoy our married lives alone for a while. We waited 6 years after marraige to try for a baby. When it really came down to start trying though, it just made sense for the circumstances we are currently in, and where we wanted to be in a few years. We’d moved back ‘home’, we’re close to family, we have a house, and most importantly, we want to move abroad again in two years. We didn’t want to have an infant when moving abroad, but we also didn’t want to wait until we came back from overseas in 4 years to start trying….so we pulled the trigger.

I’m currently 14 weeks pregnant and very much looking forward to the new adventure. We’re not done traveling by a long shot, and we’re still looking to find ways to keep some of the child-free life perks alive in our lives. Now, those things will just include our little baby. It also makes it easier that we only want one, so we’re going to be in and out of the infant-tied down stage quickly.

Post # 44
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Mine were to finish my PhD, buy a house, and travel, which we did before getting married because we knew we wanted to start trying ASAP. Still more traveling we want to do, but we’ll try to do it with the kiddos. 

Post # 45
6788 posts
Busy Beekeeper

1) Grad degrees. 2) Travel. 3) Travel. 4) Travel. 5) Travel.

You can go to school with a child, you don’t need a fancy house for a child–it will be years before the child notices his/her real estate. It is harder and more expensive to travel with a child. Travel. 

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