Bucket List Before Having Children

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 46
Member
294 posts
Helper bee

beethree :  

Isn’t it much harder to complete education and save for a home with a child though?

I’m asking because I’ve heard many parents complain about not having any free time after having a child. They also exclaim over how expensive it is to raise children. 

That isn’t meant to be an insult to parents. It’s just been what I have heard from parents my entire life. YMMV. 

Post # 47
Member
6769 posts
Busy Beekeeper

groomsister35 :  I went back to school when I had three children. When you want something you find a way to make it work–my kids had a harder time complaining about their homework when I was also doing homework, after working all day. Some people don’t want to have to give up their favorite TV shows to study. 

There are many expenses that go along with having children. I could justify added expense for education that would increase my earning capacity but not added expense for pleasure trips, though I traveled frequently on business. It all comes down to priorities. Sleep-deprived parents with infants may be limited in their ability to juggle new and old responsibilities. And some people just like to complain.

It was important to me to own a home before having children, and I did. In retrospect, I will say my babies didn’t know if they lived in a rented home or if I had a mortgage. Location matters once they are old enough to go to school, and I made sure they went to great schools even when it meant I needed to move and become a renter again. Priorities.

Post # 48
Member
294 posts
Helper bee

beethree :  

Wow, that’s impressive. I agree that people will find a way to make things work. I’m not a parent so I can’t truly appreciate how hard it is to balance raising children and other activities. I’m going to begin online courses at a Canadian university which caters to mature students. That’s certainly one way a parent can complete education. I think it also depends on how much support a parent has if they have certain goals. 

 

Post # 49
Member
6769 posts
Busy Beekeeper

groomsister35 :  My exH was no help at all and I didn’t have reliable family in the area. I did/do have great friends I could/can call on in a pinch. I’m also a geek and love to learn.

Best of luck with your studies! Where there is a will there is a way.

 

Post # 50
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Travel across the world (check)

Get promoted so I’m not working weird hours (check)

Watch a ton of movies (could have watched more!)

Move out of the city (didn’t happen)

Go hiking a lot (we did, but not as much as we’d like)

And the thing that should have been at the top of the list, but sadly wasn’t… sleep! I miss going to bed when I feel like it, and waking up when I feel like it. I should have enjoyed every minute of it.

Post # 51
Member
294 posts
Helper bee

beethree :  

I’m a geek too. wink I was always that kid with her nose in a book. 

Keep on being an inspiration to your kids. 

Post # 52
Member
2631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

1- get married, and had at least one year with just us (done!)

2- buy a home (we are closing on a house in 3 weeks!!)

3- travel (we went to hawaii for our honeymoon, an alaskan cruise, a trip to visit family, and disney world so far.  the only thing left on our list is a road trip to yellowstone.  We are planning that for the fall)

 

It’s so crazy to actually be almost done with everything on our list.  We are talking about starting to TTC in June or July (after we get all moved in and settled in our new house!)

Post # 53
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We were hoping to buy a house before TTC but that’s probably still a few years away and we’re 31. Instead we will focus on relocating to a less expensive part of the country, Darling Husband will get a new job and I will transfer to another office of my company. We want to be somewhere we can afford to rent a bigger place until we buy, but we’re aware we’ll also need to buy a car. And I want to save up some cushion for baby costs/hospital expenses as well. So basically, saving money is our main thing to check off before we TTC. I’d also like to get in better shape. I’m hoping for a 3-ish year plan where by this time next year we’ve moved, start TTC, then within another year have baby #1, and the next year buy our first home.

Post # 54
Member
1258 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Travel! I’m going to Europe for our honeymoon, hawaii next winter, Peru the year after that. And I just recently discovered a beautiful island next to Aruba cool Possibly go back to asia one more time as well.

Post # 55
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Like most everyone else, travel is a huge item on the bucket list. I just graduated with my master’s degree, and that was a big piece. My Darling Husband will be beginning his second master’s degree (completing it as an EDD), but we just can’t wait that long until we TTC. We’ve accepted that he will be in school when we begin a family. He already has a 6-year-old, so I think that’s a big piece as well. I think once we do one more overseas trip, then we will seriously consider trying.

Post # 56
Member
3580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

We didn’t really have a long list. We got engaged in the first semester of my master’s program and my husband’s second last semester of his PhD, so he was just wrapping up his dissertation. He had been working full-time all along, which allowed us to do things like travel and buy our house while we were engaged. Hubby romantically proposed on vacation in Jamaica. So I think the only things on our list were for me to secure a good job, which I did last January, and continue to travel, which we did for our first anniversary (Disney World and Bermuda) and will be doing for our second this year (European cruise). I would love a promotion some time this year. but I received a hefty one last summer, which doesn’t happen every day in my field. It’s looking like I’ll be teaching a class this fall and possibly a summer course, and I plan to also put that extra money into the baby fund in addition to what I’ve been setting aside each month. We plan to try later this year in the summer. My husband is also interviewing for higher paying positions or anticipating transitioning into a higher paying role in his current organization as the current director will be leaving in August. 

Post # 57
Member
2527 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My son wasn’t planned but my Fiance and I have somewhat of a list of things we wanted to do before we have another. Get married (Sept), buy a house (closing this month), honeymoon (sep/oct), travel (we’ve traveled quite a bit over the last 2 years). 

My son has traveled with us and i’ve never found it to be much of a burden. I’ve enjoyed taking him places and I look forward to traveling as a family so the travel issue has never been a huge deal for us. 

Post # 58
Member
669 posts
Busy bee

I am 29 so that might be why I have nothing to offer on the bucket list. Already bought my own house… sold it… graduated college…. have a stable job.

I think my goals are different than most… But all I REALLY want right now is I just want all school debt paid off before TTC. And that is about done. But I gotta get married first as well too. So I guess traveling would be the only thinG I would love to do without/before kids… but that may not happen… so I will just travel with kids when they are old enough etc. My parents did it with and without me so its not like its not possible.

Post # 59
Member
680 posts
Busy bee

Mostly just echoing what others have said, but we wanted to get married, and do one more big trip. We went to Paris, Greece, and Italy for two weeks in the fall and started trying once we got home. The baby will be here this Summer, but that hasn’t stopped us from planning more trips with the help of my parents who will babysit when we go overseas. Looking forward to this next chapter, and when he is old enough to join us on trips!

Post # 60
Member
572 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

MrsChatham :  I think this is something we all need to remember. There is no need to stop traveling altogether. I know we don’t travel overseas enough now because of finances. We could still travel once every other year and have families look after the kids.

Thanks for reminding me of that!

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