(Closed) Budget Anxiety – What Helped You?

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 2
Member
2134 posts
Buzzing bee

Just be very grateful and appreciative. Remember to make reasonable decisions when picking stuff out. 

Your parents are paying for your honeymoon too? Wow.

Post # 4
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

like PP said, just make sure you are making reasonable choices.

My parents paid for a lot, so I made sure they were a part of the big choices, so it wouldn’t feel like I did everything and then just handed them with a bill.  For example, we picked out the venue, but before they paid, we brought them on a tour to ok it.  They came with for the food tasting too.  (and they actually decided to get more expensive food than we wanted…)  I picked out the florist, but they came with to the first meeting with her. This worked out well though because my parents are very reasonable people, and didn’t try to push anything on us.  I know many parents are not like this.  I was lucky.

Post # 6
Member
8757 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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sunshadebride :  I would be anxious too if my in-laws were telling me that they’ll pay for X as long as you and your family pay for Y. What if your vision of Y doesn’t live up to their standards? Are they going to try and force you to spend more money? What does a honeymoon for you and your husband have to do with them and why are they even concerned about it? 

Our parents helped with our wedding but we still paid for over half of it ourselves. Each parent contributed different amounts but none of them came with any strings or comments about what another family might be paying. 

Post # 7
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Most of our wedding is being paid for by his parents with mine contributing as well. I’m very grateful for this and let them know. But no, I can’t say I have anxiety about spending their money. They knew the other option was that me and the Duke would elope.

Post # 10
Member
2593 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

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sunshadebride :  I have bad anxiety and usually I can handle it and talk myself “off the ledge” for the most part. However, wedding planning has really elevated my levels of anxiety and at ceryain points it got so bad that I triggered my own panic attacks to the point where I couldn’t breathe and triggered an asthma attack… I have practiced breathing excersizes that I learned in yoga which seem to help me. I also have used the 5 senses method which means that you have to touch something, smell something, taste something, look at something, and hear something. By focusing your energy away from your situation and turn it to focus on your 5 senses it helps bring your anxiety level down.

Post # 11
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

I’ve been trying to keep planning as stress-free as possible. I did a lot of research before we started booking anything (we’ll be engaged for 15 months, so I figured I could take the first 3 months to do research and then still have a year to plan). My parents offered to pay for half after I told them the proposed budget and how much we could afford. I’m not anxious about that at ALL because they could easily afford a $30k wedding, but they don’t want to give me that much money for just one day. I completely respect and agree with their decision. I’m “only” asking them for $5k, whcih they quickly agreed was reasonable.

I’ve been a little anxious when some of the things have gone over budget, but then I’ve found ways to keep other details under the budget to even it all out. I’m currently nervous about not being able to afford a honeymoon, but we’re not going on a honeymoon right after our wedding anyway, so we still have a while to figure that out.

Post # 14
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

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sunshadebride :  Thanks for the suggestion! I had seen some Groupon deals before but hadn’t considered looking into them for the honeymoon. I will now though. 🙂 We know we’re going to England/Scotland because my Fiance has never been there before and has always wanted to go.

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