Budget Brides – Ever feel like “What’s the point?”

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

bebefly 

oh honey.

I find that I have to stay away from the bridal sites and blogs. If I don’t, I just start wishing, and feeling down, and that’s crazy! Why should I feel bad that I’m getting married the way I can afford? Why am I buying into this ridiculous notion that it’s not a wedding if it doesn’t cost x amount of money?

Really, all that matters is you & your Fiance are committing your lives to one another and your friends & family are there to celebrate it with you. Trust me, ten years down the road NO ONE is going to remember if you had programs or not.

You said it! To my family I’m being the budget bride and seriously the ONLY thing that matters ….You marrying your dream (your husband to be) … THATS the only thing that matters in the grand scheme. YOU & HIM. Everything else is just a technicality. hahaha.

Wishing you the very best!  

Post # 18
Member
3316 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I really looked at things the other way around.  First, did I want to be married to her?  The answer to that was clearly yes.  Second, was there a way for us to afford to celebrate that marriage with the people who cared about us and our happiness?  And the answer to that was also yes.  So then the task was only to find a way of giving them as good a time as possible, consistent with the budget we had.  It didn’t matter to us whether any other couple on earth had a nicer venue, or prettier dress, or whatever it might be, because we weren’t comparing our wedding to any other.  In the end, we had a wedding that our friends are still talking about, over a year later, as “great fun.”

Post # 19
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@2dBride: That is such a great attitude to have! I think we often get caught up with what we see on the blogs, when in reality very few weddings actually look like that. Just worry about having fun and marrying the love of your life!

Post # 20
Member
11324 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Just stay true to what you want and make your priorities. I definitely had moments like you had where I felt like maybe our wedding was going to suck because we couldn’t afford to hire a dj (you know what? the ipod thing worked out wonderfully and it was free!) or people would think we were cheap because i made non-floral centerpieces (they looked fabulous) or because we didn’t have any liquor (people managed to get plenty drunk on the 3 beer choices and 3 wine choices). In the end it just really didn’t matter. We had a GREAT time. The food was good, the (free!) music was amazing and we were so. happy. 

Post # 21
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@tess75: yup!  completely there with you and many of the other ladies here.

There are sooo many things I’d LOVE to have, but know I can’t because of the budget.  (Cascading bouquet of black roses, oh yeah… what? why are you looking at me like that?!? Wink)  

Of course, I’m also very practical and so that also kills a lot of things.  What would I do with x afterwards?  What would I use y for?  So wish I could afford z, but where would it go?  And do I really want to pay that much for it??

Then there’s the fact that I don’t want to spend a fortune on a ONE DAY EVENT.  We’ve got two kids, looking to get a house, and still want to have another child.  Even 5k is more than I’d want to spend on something that is only gonna be remembered through photos and last a single day (ok, so it’ll actually be a weekend, but still…).  

You’re wedding will be beautiful and special and you’ll remember it with fond, happy memories.  

Post # 22
Member
671 posts
Busy bee

@tess75: totally feel you on this one.. 

Post # 23
Member
690 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think it is fair to say that everyone is on a budget of some kind, some more strict and limiting than others. Everyone has to give up something they would like for their wedding, because the reality of most people’s situations is that it doesn’t make sense to spend all of your money on a wedding and have nothing left to start your life together.

We are in our early thirties and have savings, so we can have a modest, nice wedding and also keep saving for a house. We want to enjoy our day, but there are so many days after the wedding to look forward to that are even more important.

Post # 24
Member
3977 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Yep. Some days I’m convinced that everything is going to look horrible, and people are gonna just say, “Why did she bother to call it a wedding?”

When I start thinking about the color of my venues chairs and the stains I saw in the carpet and my bridesmaids waiting too long to get their dresses I just have to meditate for a second and say, “In the end I’ll be married and that’s all I wanted in the first place. It’s gonna be a fun day even if the chairs are yellow and my aunt scoffs at the floor and 1 of my girls is in a different dress!”

Post # 25
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Right after my Fiance and I got engaged, I was SO stressed out about how we would ever be able to have a really nice wedding without going into debt.  I spent a few weeks extremely stressed out and sad over the whole thing and then we had a really great conversation one night.  We talked about what was really important to us, what we would enjoy, and what we most definitely would not enjoy.  We came up with a solution that we’re both really happy with and decided that we had to NOT spend any energy or time worrying about what others would think. 

We decided what was most important to us was just getting married and then having a great time on a honeymoon.  So…we are doing a simple and small courthouse wedding in exactly three weeks (!!!) and then are leaving for a week long honeymoon in Jamaica the next day.  Our family and really close friends will be there with us for the courthouse ceremony and then we’re taking everyone out for a really nice dinner afterwards.  In July, we’re having a backyard reception/party that will be casual and fun.

I know a lot of people aren’t big on the courthouse/JOP thing, but we’re completely fine with it.  We’re both pretty shy people and realized that we would never enjoy spending a whole day being the center of attention.  Saving money on the ceremony and reception is allowing us to go on the honeymoon we really wanted and also allowed us to splurge a little on our wedding bands (well…on mine a little bit more than his – ha!). 

Your wedding won’t be chintzy!  It’s going to be your day and it’s going to be beautiful! 

Post # 26
Member
5283 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

It was tough, and yes I was fustrated with the fact that I had to DIY my own invitations, escort cards, programs, table numbers, all my centerpeices, all my Bridesmaid or Best Man bouquets, my own bouquet, all the boots, my husbands boots, cupcake stand, and favors.

BUT, it was SO worth it! And the best part, people are SHOCKED when they learn how much we spent considering how good everything looked. I couldn’t of been prouder of myself and my hard work!

Keep your chin up! It IS worth it!

Post # 27
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My first wedding was on a budget, and I went through that same “what’s the point”, but it turned out beautifully.  It was really tough, but we did a lot of the work ourselves, and I made all of the (4) bouquets, (6) boutoniers, (3) corsages and (10) centerpieces myself for only $175 – I worked with a local grocery store to roses and hydrangeas from them in bulk.  Everything will work out just fine…. and the best part is, you can have your dream husband with you after it’s all said and done.  🙂

 

 

Post # 28
Member
2103 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yes. This is how I feel right now…

I feel like none of my vision is coming together because of my limited budget. I kinda don’t care anymore…

Post # 29
Member
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Sure I was disappointed that somethings were out of my budget and it was completely frustrating at times to find a vendor that I liked that was in my budget, but after it was all said and done, I wouldn’t change a thing!  I loved how my budget wedding came out!

Post # 31
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

I think every day: Can’t someone else just do my light work?

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