(Closed) budget debate

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Fiance an I each have a monthly “personal” fund that we can spend on whatever – outside food, entertainment (with other friends – we have a joint fund for entertainment we do together), and clothes.

I like it this way because as long as it comes out of my personal fund he can’t b**** about what I buy!

Post # 4
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I think you’re right that you need variety. I was just telling my hubby that I need some new work clothes because so few of mine fit. We don’t budget a lot for clothes right now, as we’re trying to be frugal because we have so many purchases right now due to house renovations and things miraculously breaking right after we got married (seriously- his car- our washing machine- the oven- it’s awful!) so I can’t help you out with that. But what I CAN say is that you don’t have to wear the exact same outfit every day when you stick with a limited amount of clothes. Mix things up, think outside the box, wear a scarf, layer, etc. There was just a spread in Glamour this month on a woman who wore the same black dress every single day for a year. She just mixed up her accessories. Accessories can go a long way, and if you shop at the right places, they are pretty cheap. (H&M, Forever 21). Put aside however much you and your man think is OK to spend and hit one of them up and see what you can get for that amount- just try to think outside the box! 

Post # 5
1104 posts
Bumble bee

You need a bit of variety, and you need to look professional at your job. I had a similar issue earlier this year, it had been years since I bought any work appropriate clothes (I prefer party dresses and shoes!) so I budgeted for a big spend to re-do my whole (winter) wardrobe. I took along a friend who loves shopping and is very stylish (and super budget conscious). It was great and I feel a lot better at work now. We pool a certain % of our funds into a joint account and then the rest is ours to spend how we like. So FH has no say over what I spend my money on, and vice versa. Works for us and I would never want to justify or defend my personal spending to anyone else 🙂 Is there something your FH spends money on that you don’t, that would even things up? Like video games, a gym membership, his car, sports clubs, etc? If personal accounts aren’t the way to go for you, maybe that would be a good compromise?

Post # 6
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

clothing-my hubby is a free clothing whore! his company pays for his suits, day to day work wear, business shirts, polo shirts – even his socks & shoes for god sake!  hubbys plan is never to have to buy clothes ever again so he has boxes of stuff thats never been worn.

im not a huge clothing shopper but if i need/want something i get it and if there is something he needs (ie winter polartec stuff) i get that. hes never once questioned a purchase (unless its shoes, he says i have too many) but i will say last winter i spent about $1000 on polartec winter stuff for him but it will last years and years and i dont think he realized how expensive it is


Post # 7
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

hehe… your Fiance wants you to be like me. I’ve found over the years that no matter HOW MANY OUTFITS I have, I 1) still get bored with the clothes I have and 2) still end up wearing the same 6-7 outfits over and over.

I have a bunch of other stuff that I love, but for some reason I just never wear it. Very occassionally I put something different on, and people are always like, “WOAH! You look great! You bought new clothes!” which I guess means I should change it up more often… but I’m so lazy with fashion.

Have you talked with him about WHY you value variety in your wardrobe? (i.e. makes you feel more confident to look good, you need a variety of outfits for more/less formal work events, etc.) Also, a good (and practical) compromise could be working on making your own wardrobe more mix-and-match friendly. A white with pink pin stripes suit set may look killer, but it’s hard to wear just the skirt or jacket with much else 🙂 whereas a few classic pieces will allow you to mix and match a lot more, thus FEELING like you’ve got more variety, without totally breaking the budget. You can always splurge on a few stand out pieces each season (I like getting dressy tops that go under a jacket/cardigan at the trendy stores at the mall, because they’re cheap but so fun, so I don’t feel guilty about spending too much money. They’re often ‘too young’ for me to wear alone, but under a blazer they look great and really ‘pop’ for the office!

Post # 9
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

oy…I think your guy probably doesn’t get it (lucky man getting to wear tracksuits to work though).

You need variety and you do need professional clothes. Like it or not, we draw a lot of conclusions about a person’s skills and effectiveness in social situations from how put together they are.

Stick to classic items that can be mixed and matched so even if you wore that cardigan last week it looks different paired with another neutral pant color and top. Then you don’t need as much but still have a variety. AND don’t forget about nice shoes. That is the one thing I notice all the time about people….its the details that show professionalism (I’m so suprised by the number of people I see wearing casual shoes with SUITS).

Post # 10
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2000

A man and a woman both look into their closet and say ” I have nothing to wear.”

What  a man really means is ” I have nothing CLEAN to wear.”

What a woman really means is “I have nothing NEW to wear.”

i don’t think you are going overboard with your desire to have some new work clothes. We also have a personal amount of money that we can use at our own discretion, we call it “fun money”, which will pay for things we want, like clothing:)

Post # 11
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think that you do “need” a little variety and it sounds to me like you’re trying your best to get mix-n-match things that can make two or three different outfits with accessories. 

We each get a “budget” amount to spend on whatever extra that we need through the month…can you set aside something like that?  As long as you’re not spending more than your budget, he can’t complain…

Post # 12
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My fiance and I have struggled with budgeting but we’ve come down to this:

We have a joint checking and savings account.  We each but the $ for the bills in the checking account and a little extra, a number we’ve agreed upon that will go toward anything we want to do together.  The savings account we also agree on an amount that be both add.  We make the same amount but this doesn’t always work as we have personal bills that amount to more or less than the other persons.  But we will not have one person put in money if the other one can’t. 

Then we each have our own accounts and we spend that as we choose.

That may have been confusing but what I’m basically saying is if your bills are paid, you are putting money in your savings (whether its your joint savings or personal savings) and you have extra money, spend it on what you want.  And if its work clothes, its a great investment because you can wear them for years.  I’ve slowly created a wardrobe because I agree, a woman needs variety.  A lot of men will not get it so I wouldn’t try to make him understand lol.

Post # 13
672 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

You both just need to allocate a personal spending allowance that accumulates over time or something.  For example, you could decide how much you’ll spend on clothes in one year, and divide it up by week/day or whatever.  So you could “earn” $5/day into your spending allowance or something.  If you each had it, then what should he care what you do with it?

We do something like this – but just for general personal spending.  Neither of us spends much on clothes.

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