(Closed) Budget has gotten out of hand

posted 6 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you should find a way to compromise. Let him have some of the things that he wants but 30k is a huge amount of money.

Post # 4
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Does he realize how much you’re total is? I know my Darling Husband has expensive taste and wanted a lot of things and those things on their own like photographer sound reasonable and what not, but when you add it all up, that grand total number was something he did NOT agree with.

You definitely need to talk to him about your concerns. It’s one thing to let him have a say in the wedding, it’s another to let him spend an amount you’re uncomfortable with. You should be able to come to some sort of compromise.

Post # 5
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

I think you two need to have some conversations about money, spending philosophies, saving philosophies, priorities, etc. Is this really about how much should be spent on a wedding, or is it about financial planning for the future, how much value you place on the wedding, a personal desire to have “the best”, an emotional need to demonstrate one’s wealth, etc.? 

Post # 6
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Haveyou said to him, “Honey, I thought we agreed to keep the wedding under $30k.  What happened to that?  I don’t feel comfortable spending triple our initial amount?”

 

Have you said that yet?

 

You said he is paying for it.  Are you going to merge your money after marriage or keep it all separate.  I think in a way you both are paying for it.

Post # 7
Member
12956 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You need to sit down with him and say that everything he’s requested has tripled what you originally planned on spending.  That’s way out of hand, and you need to sit down to figure out where to go from here!

Post # 8
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Would “putting your foot down” even work? 

Is he capable of discussing these matters, being logical, come to a comprimise?  I am curious.

Post # 9
Hostess
11168 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

There are a million ways to spend one’s money and apparently your Fiance thinks it is important (as I do) to have the wedding of one’s dreams. If he is able to afford his elaborate and expensive wishes than I really think you should let him.

I understand your concern for the budget and what other things that money can go for but you have the rest of your life to buy a car, remodel the bathroom etc. Obviously this is important to him.

If things start to get to the point where financially you are both strained then a conversation is in order, otherwise enjoy where his creative mind takes you both.

Post # 10
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee

As much as you say it’s his money.  This is also money that will not later be brought into the marriage.

If you agreed on a #, then you should try to at least stick close to it.  3x it already and doesn’t include everything doesn’t sound reasonable.

It sounds like you two need to have some serious money discussions because there is so much more to married life then there is the wedding.  If he is this over the top about the wedding it will be something else next time.

 

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