- This Time Round
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
Etiquette Snob here… lol
I have read your OP & your Updates… and I believe I have the perfect solution for you.
As others have said, if you Host a Wedding… then you are supposed to Host “some sort” of a Reception to thank your Guests for coming
The most inexpensive way to do this is to have a Punch & Cake Reception immediately after the Wedding… often in the Church Hall or a Community Hall (Community Centre – Mason’s Hall – Legion etc)
IF that isn’t what you envision for your Friends & Family then you have a few other choices, but it means changing the style of your Wedding (from a Family one) to:
An Elopement OR a Small Intimate Wedding.
An Elopement you can do as a run down to the Courthhouse… or do a Getaway / Vacation
A Small Intimate Wedding you can do with immediate family either as a run down to the Courthouse… or in a Chapel / Church / Other Venue
If you do that, then you’d still need to host something for those that came out and supported you on your Big Day… but if it is just a handful of people it won’t be overly expensive… and you can control costs in so much as you can decide who gets invited (just Parents for example) and where you go to eat / celebrate afterwards.
Sometime after the Elopement or Small Intimate Wedding you could then have a “Wedding Celebration” and invite Friends & Family to that…
In which case you don’t have to be the Hosts at all…
You could ask your Inlaws to host as they have offered… and they could then make all the important decisions on how it is organized… be that a Meal at a Restaurant, a Backyard BBQ or a Pot Luck. The ball is in their court.
Seeing as you don’t see the need for a big elaborate Wedding, or spending a lot of money on a Reception (I get that in that a house is a bigger priority for you guys) I think this is the perfect solution as it meets ALL the things on YOUR WISH LIST and that of those around you who are saying you absolutely need to have a Wedding & Invite them.
And as a BONUS it doesn’t do anything that is against Etiquette or risk offending any Guests.
It would be the route I’d take in this situation
Hope this helps,
PS… Mr TTR & I Eloped… and it was wonderful. We were also pressured by Family & Friends not to (lol, was never going to happen… as Encores we had NO INTEREST in having a Traditional BIG White Pouffy Family Wedding… as we had BOTH had those before). We did see tho how soooo many people truly LOVED us and were Happy for us… and that they wanted to truly celebrate with us. So we organized a Reception Party for after we got back from our Honeymoon. It worked… and it was a ton of fun. All the benefits of a Regular Wedding Reception without the cost as we got out of having a Sit Down Meal… and just threw a Party. That saved us TONS of money.
Also, as we didn’t Invite anyone to our Wedding, we followed Etiquette… and didn’t Register anywhere. So when we had our Reception, altho Gifts were something we didn’t necessarily care about or expect at all… we were pleasantly surprised to discover that most people gave us something… and for many that was Cash.
I am saying this, cause this could work in your favour seeing as you guys are saving up for a house. By not registering… people wanted to give something, and something we could use as we pleased… so it was money.