Post # 1
Our little wedding in Big Sur with 20 people for $5k…has spiraled into a full on shin-dig with 35 people coming and close to double the price tag. 🙁 Family and friends came out of the woodwork and began inviting themselves and extra guests. I keep daydreaming about the vacations we could have taken with that money or even bulking up our house fund.
I shouldn’t complain, but it’s also the year I graduate from my MFA program and I haven’t found steady work yet. We are so tight. I am looking forward to all the little details and a week up in Sur, but we’re like seriously going for broke. Fiance is pretty cool with it and thinks we’ll be okay and says he doesn’t care as long as he “gets to marry me.”
Has this ever happened to anyone else? I need someone to commisurate with.
Post # 3
@twitterpated0315: I feel you:(. Everyone has a different idea of who should “definitely be invited”. Everyone wants a social buddy at a reception, which I get, but when it’s on my dime, it’s not cool. I have limited dimes.
The rule of thumb I use is if I am paying for the wedding, I am choosing the guest list, but if I’m receiving even a little help from a family member, I am willing to meet their simple requests, like inviting a couple of their friends. You have to work with your budget, and so do others.
Post # 4
@twitterpated0315: Big Sur is SO PRETTY! I think that this happens to everyone (Budget creep, guest creep or whatever you want to to call it). As long as you’re still basically able to cover it w/o draining your emotional well being & emergency fund, I say go for it (but obviously don’t add more people!) At least there’s not much more time to add people.
Post # 5
Yes, I know the feeling. I was all “We’re not paying to the wedding industry!” and then things kept adding to the budget… I know that our wedding, overall, is relatively cheap – but the dollar number at the end of the excel column still makes me cringe. It’s one day for heavens sake – HOW did we end up at this? All I wanted was to say “I do” and get a ring on my finger!
Post # 6
This is the exact place I’ve been in for the last few weeks, including last night, this morning and even in my dreams. I was also one of those brides that was like “omg I’m not paying THAT kind of money” except that I am.
Budget creep makes me feel queasy but basically I’ve gotten to the point where I’m just going to pay the money and be over and done with it. In the grand scheme of things it will be okay.. but it’s really tough when you somehow end up nowhere where you planned to be and you’re not sure how you got there!
Okay, wedding industry. You beat me, you win! But I REFUSE to have fog machines at my wedding, okay?!
Post # 7
@sanjessica: I read your post and thought “We should go out for drinks… but I guess neither of us want to pay for them when we can put that money towards customised napkins…” 🙂
No but seriously – I’m just a little shocked about all of it. I really had decided that it was going to be a super cheap wedding, apart from a few details (such as flight to Sweden where we’ll get married, you can’t really skimp on that). Then things kept adding up or being more expensive than I had thought. My dress is a great example. I had decided to go with JCrews Corrina:
Based on a mistake on their side, I got it 20% off = happy Eocenia!
Dress: $660 (inc. tax + shipping)
Dress arrived and it just didn’t work – I felt like… ghost:
So I forced Fiance to drive to David’s Bridal (where I WASN’T going to go… but there we are…) and found this dress for $800 (price given by sales person):
Only thing is… that’s the store price in Canada, on the webpage it’s $700, reduced to $625 as it’s on sale… Which means that dress will be either $800 here OR $625 if we drive to Buffalo and get it there. Now, is it worth to pay $175 more and get it close to home or have to drive to the US (twice?) to purchase it? I look at the darn excel spread sheet… playing with these numbers and I have to say that I’m angry that wedding planning to such a large degree is all about numbers!
Post # 8
I like the idea of characterizing the ‘industry’ as the bad guy. I originally got into the business because I wanted to be able to offer budget brides something beautiful at a rate that was affordable. But then…what is ‘in’ and beautiful really costs money.. 🙁 So then I am still only saving them a small amount in comparison. sucks.
My wedding was/is a backyard affair. What started out at a 5 grand estimate has become well over ten. “Why does it cost me XX dollars to RENT a chair/table/linen/napkin/dinner plate when I can BUY it for a dollar more?!?!?” gross.
Post # 9
@twitterpated0315: Our plan was to have 20 people in our local park and have a small “light lunch” reception with passed sandwitches and bottled tea. The total cost was going to be about $2800
We’re now at $5k and have an 80 person guest list. We had to move our date to a Sunday JUST so we could save money to have the “big” wedding. We just spent $400 on a cake.
A CAKE. A damn cake.
I feel like it’s out of control. We could have eloped in Paris for 5k or bought a house. But no-here we are having a giant wedding becasue it’s what our family wants.
Post # 10
Oh and to add my vent – We are just over the 110 person mark (started with 40, then up to 90), meaning I now have to rent chairs because my venue doesn’t have enough chairs.
And there’s no matching chairs available to rent (because the venue had their chairs custom made). So we can either have nonmatching chairs throughout, or rent 110 chairs at $9/chair. Blah. Oh I guess we could rent chair covers so that the chairs could match. I don’t even care.
@eocenia: Let’s see a pic of the new dress? Do you have a separate thread?
Post # 11
@eocenia: omg I hear you.. my excel spreadsheet is soaked with my tears at this point. I’m Italian, and there are certain expectations of an Italian wedding. So I thought I’d have a “toned down” one.. which I am.. except that I can’t skimp on food or drinks, and they’re charging me the same price for simple decor than if I’d gone all out. It’s like there’s no winning, somehow. When the lady asked if I wanted fireworks at my wedding, I nearly choked. It’s like “LOOK LADY.. did my walmart sweater not give away that I’m not exactly rolling in dough here?!”
Seriously the only thing that made me laugh last night was when after all the tears and my Debbie Downer talk, I quoted Teddy KGB from Rounders (see photo above) using the accent and everything I said to my Fiance “Okay, I will pay tha woman herrr moneh” and we both burst into laughter. I guess that’s all I can do at this point!
Post # 12
@eocenia: Oh and btw both dresses are really cute! I actually like the first one.. I think you look elegant! The second one looks like sooo much fun. At least if you go to Buffalo you can grab some sales. Although Target opened up in Guelph today!
Post # 13
@suburbian: Oh, so you work with this and you still feel like you’re fooled into paying way more than you had planned? That makes me feel a little better! I felt like such a failure when the budget kept increasing! 🙂
@MissFireFlower: And I’ll make my own cake! So I look at the budget and I feel “I’m like the queen of DIY and you’re still freaking at THAT number?!”
@LucyLaLa: I don’t have a photo of me in the new dress yet… sorry. Major failure. So for now, all I can give you is the link to David’s Bridal:
Post # 14
Originally we said $5,000…then we saw what it was reasonable and what wasn’t for what we were ttrting to do…so we’re like OK $8,000! And now the goal is to stay within $8,000 – $10,000 after I re-sell all our decor. Currently we’ve spent under $10,000 and that’s where it seems to be staying. The only budget creeping I’ve done since we signed our original vendors was adding on a DJ and dance floor (about $900 more) and a few raw materials for decor crafts.
Post # 15
@twitterpated0315: I think it happens to every single bride-to-be who has a fixed budget.
We risk looking like a mean-spirited and selfish witch while trying to keep our weddings within budget and within the initial vision you once had for your big day.
So you have a choice – stick to your guns or find the extra…funds. I didn’t want that to rhyme… but Dr. Seuss taught me to just go with it. lol
Good luck with your planning! I hope you two make the best decision that works for the both of you.
Post # 16
@sanjessica: Sigh, I wish my parents were born in Scotland… 🙂
And thanks for the dress compliments. The first one made me feel like a statue, but we’re getting married in the forest – so the second one is MUCH more practical. As for purchasing the second dress, just been on the phone with DB in Rochester and US it is. We can place the order by phone and then just drive there in June. It’s worth paying a tank of gas and make it a fun weekend outing when it’s $175 (tax not included!) off!
A general question, what are the things you skimp on/DIY for your wedding? I’m doing the cake and the flowers, we’ll get a nice camera for my Fiance instead of hiring a photographer, I’m drawing all the invitations myself… it feels like I’m doing A LOT to cut costs, but the price tag for the wedding alone (honeymoon and 2nd reception back in Toronto not included) is still a staggering $13K.