Post # 1
I’m starting to get a little bit concerned about the logistics of hanging out with everyone in the days leading up to my wedding – and on the day of. Two of my bridesmaids are from out of state, friends I had back when I lived in Texas. Annnnnd they don’t like each other. To top it off, my mom doesn’t like either one of them!
Has anyone else been in a similar situation/have any advice for how to deal with this? My parents are also from out of state, so I’ll need to try to spend as much time as possible with everyone… Do you think they’ll all make nicey-nice in honor of “my special day” ??? (Could I be that lucky? LOL)
Post # 3
I would hope that they all “behave” for your day. I don’t have advice but to just not let it drive you crazy!
Post # 4
Aww, I’m sorry you’re worrying about this! I would say, just expect the best from them, because really, they should keep themselves under control for your big day. And if at any point they start misbehaving, say very kindly, “I know not everyone gets along really well, but this is my wedding, and I would appreciate it if you could put that aside for just a few days. Thanks!” They should be embarrassed enough at being called out on childish behavior that they get it together. And as far as spending enough time with everyone, just do the best you can, and everyone will understand. There is only one of you and only so many hours in a day!
Post # 5
This is something I’m very concerned about too! First of all, I am not all warm and fuzzy about my Maid/Matron of Honor. I know that’s horrible to say but she’s abrassive and acts like she knows EVERYTHING. She comments on everything she sees and it comes off as judgemental. I picked her because she was going through a tough time and I wanted to cheer her up… no clue why I was so stupid but she is doing a good job so far. Anyway, 3 of my other BM’s don’t like her (for all the reasons about). My Mother thinks she’s insane, another Bridesmaid or Best Man doesn’t dislike her but she doesn’t like her either. My one remaining Bridesmaid or Best Man has never met her so that’s good. Should be interesting. In the end though, I’m not worried about it because I know they’re all mature enough to play nice for me.
Post # 6
I’m worrying a bit about my BMs getting along too, my Maid/Matron of Honor has micromanaged the crap out of everything in her power, resulting in a big fight between us the other day. One of my other ‘maids sort of weaseled her way into the party (I’m glad to have her as she is one of my best friends BUT…) and my Maid/Matron of Honor is very bitter about it and has been rude to her ever since. My other ‘maid is from out of state and isn’t friends with either of them. I’m just hoping they all cool their jets and get along. In any event, it’s not my problem any more. My wedding isn’t even for nine months… sheesh! Hopefully we all do a little kum-ba-ya and get along…
Post # 7
Jennifer, that’s how one of my BMs is coming across to me. I put her on wedding “timeout” some weeks back adn she was ok, then it started up again. Now, she is on a “wedding diet” and she gets to hear NOTHING about the wedding. She doesn’t get to go to wedding shows or shopping with me….
Post # 8
@PrncssDva – LOVE the “wedding diet!” That’s too funny. That and @bellykitty’s kum-ba-ya – y’all are cracking me up.
@mrsmdphd – love the idea of calling them out, nicely! You’re right… I’m pretty sure even my grudge-holding mother would be embarrassed about that. (To be honest, she’s the one I’m most worried about actually saying something rude.)
@jennifer_espos – one of my bridesmaids is the same way. We are “good friends” in that we talk on the phone every day and share things with each other we might not share with outsiders, but I don’t really like her personality very much. She is outspoken, at times rude, and very narcissistic! She always has to be the center of attention, talks very loudly, brags about things, etc. She’s just, in the words of everyone I know who also knows her, “too much!” That’s why my Best Friend (and other BM) doesn’t like her. I just feel like there’s going to be a LOT of eye-rolling on the weekend of my wedding!!
Thanks for all the advice and stories, ladies. It makes me feel better to know that not everyone has one of those tightknit groups of friends where everyone loves each other SOMUCHOMG!!!111!! That’s just never going to be my life. Hahaha!
Post # 9
Enlist help! Because you do not want to have to deal with any of it!
I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where we did not all get along and one of the BM’s called me “b” right before our grand entrance! (back story: the bride did not do seating assignments at the head table, her Brother and SIL asked if they could sit near the bride and groom since they were from out of town…I said sure…other Bridesmaid or Best Man threw out the B-word. I was SHOCKED!).
I was crying to my mom and sister minutes later…but the bride never knew a thing. We kept everything away from her.
I suggest confiding in a different bridesmaid and asking her to help in case anything arises. Hopefully it won’t!
Post # 10
I know what you mean. My mom and my sister/ Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t like one of my BMs who’s one of my best friends. And my sister has also recently begun to express her jealousy of my relationship with my Future Sister-In-Law who is also a bridesmaid. I really hope there won’t be any drama, but you never know.
Post # 11
I like @sarahsd’s idea of enlisting help. Getting another Bridesmaid or Best Man to be the ref or getting a kind, but strong-willed aunt/grandmother to reign-in the Bridal Party in might help “put them in place” if things get out of hand. On your day you should not have to worry about this.
I totally understand you about spending time with everyone…while I don’t have any drama in our wedding party, they make up distinctly different groups of people in our lives. On FI’s side, he’s got his childhood friends, who’re like brothers & his brother who’s at a different stage in life than his friends. On my side, we’ve got my family (FG, MOB & my stylist – FG’s mom), college friend (MOH) & recent friend (as in last 10 years, BM)…my bach-party is going to be interesting. So what we’re doing to manage spending time with everyone is to compartmentalize the weekend – family dinners, old friend event (welcome brunch since they’re all Out of Town & at a lunch), & new friend events (after party). This way, except for the RDs & the actual wedding, we’re not clashing worlds & everybody gets their 1-on-1 time.