Post # 1
I know as women, most if not all of us, have struggled with self confidence at one point.
At my heaviest I was 30 lbs overweight. My doctor told me that I needed to lose weight, which I did. It took me several years but I had to do it slowly and make it more of a life style change rather than going on a fad diet.
Anyway, for the first time since high school I am finally within that healthy BMI range (a little on the high side but I’ll take what I can get). I’m pretty active, exercising around 4-5 times a week. I’m not on a diet per se, I just follow that whole “everything in moderation” state of mind.
My problem though, is that I still can’t shake that whole “I feel fat” feeling. Bless my Fiance, he tries his hardest, always telling me I’m beautiful, not to change, etc but more often than not I feel like a cow.
I’m hoping to hear some suggestions from the ladies out there who have great self esteem and know that they are smoking hot, regardless of shape or size. How do you do it?? Positive self talk?
I know that therapy is always an option but I’d like to hear what you’ve done/what you do for yourself before I go that route.
Post # 2
I’ve been overweight pretty much my whole life, save for a couple years when I was VERY sick and was losing weight like crazy…not in a healthy way! What has always helped me is buying clothes I feel great in. Knowing how to dress my body has given me a great amount of confidence — I know what looks good, I know what doesn’t. I don’t like my stomach or my back fat or the fact that my thighs have ALWAYS rubbed together, but I don’t focus on that. I focus on the fact that I love my hourglass shape, I love that I’m tall with long legs (this is kind of a weird thing to love, but I can’t even tell you how many shorter people have complimented me on my long legs so I finally embraced them!), and most importantly, I love how I have gained a natural confidence. I wasn’t always that way, but once I really liked how my body looked in clothes (again, finding clothes that fit me instead of necessarily losing weight), my confidence skyrocketed.
Focus on the positives. I chuckle to myself when I see on here so many girls who comment on how they feel “fat” in their wedding dress and how you can see their “belly”…then when I look at the picture they are tall and slim and GORGEOUS and I would literally kill for their figure. It’s all in perspective. I have accepted that I will never be 120 pounds, and that’s totally ok. I love myself for who I am, and my fiance does as well. That’s all that matters!
Post # 3
This might sound really silly, and it felt silly to me at first, but for a while I did affirmations and I found they really helped. Every morning (or most of them), I would take a moment alone in the bathroom, look and myself in the mirror and say:
“You are beautiful”, “You deserve love”, etc, whatever you think you need to hear. Like I said, it feels weird at first, but I ended up really getting into it and I found it really helped.
I also found parts of my body that I like and focused on those for a while. I’ve always been self conscious about my tummy, but I love my boobs. So I’d dress to show off my boobs or my legs or something like that. And when I looked in the mirror, I’d focus especially on the parts I liked. Gradually, I started to embrace more parts of my body and now I look at every bit and feel confident and beautiful.
Good luck with your self-love journey!
Post # 4
Hmm.. yeah I’ve struggled with body image a lot. I was about 30 lbs overweight in highschool, lost that plus some and got to the lower end of a healthy BMI in college… went back up to about 1 lb overweight right now. Trying to go back down by 5 lbs because my face looks a lot better when it’s thinner. That said, through that time I’ve struggled a lot with body image–I was bulimic in college and even after I got that under control it took a long time to appreciate my body. Now I’m happy with my body, even if there are things I’d prefer be thinner (my cheeks and my arms)
Therapy helped… but exercising helped more. It sounds like you do that, but it’s when I got into exercise as a SPORT rather htan as a weightloss method that I really started to appreciate my body. When I was running half marathons I would run 25-35 miles a week. I was so impressed with my body… with all it could do and accomplish (considering I was the kid in highschool who couldnt play a single sport or run for the life of me). I was so PROUD of my body that I could run half marathons under 2 hours (generally ~1:45!). I’d have NEVER thought that it could do that for me. After my knee was busted I switched to weight lifting… again I focused on seeing how much I could lift rather than on how thin I could get. That sort of mentality has really spilled over into appreciating my body and loving it as it is.
Post # 5
Wow, that’s really inspirational. I did a 10k once and that took me an hour and 15 min…I can’t imagine doing a half marathon in under 2 hrs. But I guess I gotta start somewhere! Finding a sport that I can really get into is a great idea.
I wish I could find something positive! Lol. You’re right though, proper clothes do make a difference. That’s another thing I need to work on…I’ve gotten into a habit of living in yoga pants and track pants cause they’re so comfy lol.
Post # 6
Congratulations on reaching a healthy BMI! Such a healthy step to take.
I would avoid media for awhile. Women’s magazines and ads on TV can be self-esteem killers and really screw with women’s body image. They usually celebrate one type of body (the “Victoria’s Secret angel” type) which clearly not everyone has, and which does not have ownership over femininity and beauty.
treat yourself to clothes That really work for your body type. Pick some gorgeous celebrities who fit your body type and be inspired by their confidence, curvy ladies like Marilyn Monroe. Follow healthyisthenewskinny And other body-positive and health-focused people on Instagram/online.
Remember that thin = sexy is just a modern cultural and media construct. 100 years ago curvy was where sexy was at. Culture changes all the time. dont let other people define you, focus on your health and build your own construct of beauty. Good luck 🙂 xxx
Post # 7
hahaha.. well first off, training matters a lot when it comes to those things. When I started running I couldn’t do 2 miles and was around a 11 min per mile pace. Slowly that built up to 5 miles (SO SLOWLY–it took me a couple months to go from 1-2 miles up to 5) but after 5 it sort of just shot off. I decided I wanted to run a half and made a plan for myself (I couldn’t use a pre-made plan because the half was way too soon for most couch-to-half-marathon plans) and just stuck to it religiously. My endurance built up but so did my speed… I generally ran 9:10’s on my own but once I got to the half marathon and had all the energy and comraderie of the crowd I generally logged ~8:25 for most of the course and then sprinted the lsat mile or so.
Anyway, it doesn’t have to be running–it was just the mind shift of no longer thinking of exercise as a way to burn calories.