(Closed) Bummed about Bridesmaids

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
869 posts
Busy bee

“I think movies and TV shows make weddings look like so much fun with all your girls by your side, but in reality I think most people don’t have that option.”  This.  You nailed it on the head (in most cases).  In reality, people have busy lives, and it’s tough to fit things in with careers, kids, families etc.  I’m 31, all of my bridesmaids have kids.  2 of them live hours away.  One lives closer, but is super busy.  In the beginning of my wedding planning I didn’t know how to feel.  One of my bridesmaids who lives out of town hadn’t called me in a few weeks, and I started overthinking things, wondering if she maybe didn’t want to be a bridesmaid anymore.  In reality, she’d been busy, and of course she still wanted to be a bridesmaid.  I’ve learned that YOU will be the one who cares the most about your wedding.  It’s not like others don’t care at all, but they won’t be as focused on it.  I think brides (myself included) spend many hours in a day thinking wedding, wedding, wedding – trying to sort out logistics/details etc etc. In doing so, we wish we could have someone to sort out everything with us.  Unfortunately, although others will be happy/excited/looking forward to your wedding, you will be the one who cares the most.  Your girls love you, they’re just busy girls.  Try not to stress. 🙂

Post # 4
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I’m similar from the standpoint that I’m one of the last of my friends to get married and my four bridesmaids are all over the place. Two are out of state, one is four hours away and has four kids under the age of seven (my FSIL), and the other is about 30 minutes away. The one bridesmaid who is good at keeping things straight and getting things done is out of state.

I do feel lonely that I won’t have anyone nearby to experience this with and, when there was freetime, to help make things or meet up. The friend who is 30 minutes works 40+ hours a week and is looking to get a job out of the country. She has offered to come with me to get me measured.

When the official planning begins in four weeks, I’ll be e-mailing everyone so everyone has a way to contact each other (the four don’t know each other, which I feel is so strange!) and I hope to keep them up-to-date as much as possible.

Post # 5
2067 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

My Maid/Matron of Honor (best friend for years and years) got married in 2009… So she was dress shopping in 2008 — I was her Maid/Matron of Honor, but I couldn’t go with her because I was recovering from a severe car accident.  Of course she found her dress on the first day she went dress shopping!  I was sad that I missed out – Her mom did her best to include me, sending me pics on my cell etc… But I was sad because that was an experience we had always dreamed of having together

Fast Forward to 2011.  I’m engaged, going dress shopping.  Now, my Maid/Matron of Honor lives in Italy! So, she didn’t get to be there for my dress shopping either 🙁 It’s sad to me that we missed this opportunity – But we both did our best to include each other… I sent her emails with the pics etc…

Like you said, the picture perfect movie world idea of wedding planning isn’t a reality for most people

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