Post # 1
Early on we made our guest list and we knew we wouldn’t be able to invite everyone we wanted to. We settled on inviting 140, knowing that 120-130 would definitely be there. We never made a 2nd round of invites because out of the 140, we KNEW (or so we thought) the majority of them would be coming. We can only afford 120.
I mean, we were only inviting 140 people (majority being family – and Future Mother-In-Law millions of friends)…so the friends I did invite are all friends that I truly wanted to be there. I mean, they survived all the cuts, and are my favorite people in the world, which is why I invited them.
My problem is, I’m disappointed at the people who I got ‘No’ RSVP’s from. I’ve been totally blindsided by it. People who have been talking about the wedding with me for months! Our wedding isn’t a destination wedding..its local. We sent out STD’s 9 months before, invitations 2 months before…Everyone had ample time to take off work, make plans, etc. I know the whole world doesn’t revolve around me and my wedding, I guess I’m just bummed that I feel like I invested myself in these friendships and they’re turning around and letting me down on a really important day. This has been with 4 different friends (they don’t know eachother). And all 4 of them I either got no explanation or a total lameass excuse.
I guess I’m just bummed. I feel like maybe I thought these people and I were better friends then this. Does anyone get what I’m saying? I’m probably just being emotional (I know I am) but I can’t help but take this personally. I know I didn’t do a very good job of explaining this all, it sounded better in my head, lol.
Post # 3
Yes you are being emotional, and taking this personally. Weddings and the lead- up to them are emotional times, so it’s ok.
4 friends rsvp’ing no is not anything to get bent out of shape about though.
There are many reasons people do not attend and they don’t always give the real reason. The economy has taken a hard toll on many people and they may not be able to afford to attend. Even a local wedding adds up when you may need to get a new outfit, hair done, pay for a sitter etc etc etc.
Cut your friends some slack and enjoy your wedding with the many people who are planning to attend.
Post # 4
@AnneTossy: I could have written this post! I 100% understand how you feel. The same thing happened with me. My wedding was in April and save the dates went out in August. Invitations went out in February. I had 4 close friends from the area RSVP no with no kind of message. I had 6 friends from home (granted that is 14 hours away) RSVP no. I made the 14 hour journey to their weddings only 2 years previously. I know 4 of the friends could afford the trip but I it wasn’t a priority to come to mine. (Which of course it wasn’t, but it would have been nice to have them there!)
Post # 5
((( hug ))) I know it’s kind of rough, but it’s okay. Maybe they couldn’t afford a wedding gift right now, or have something else that came up. In a little while, you might be glad for the No’s!
Post # 6
I’m happy that I have no’s, I just wish they were some of Future Mother-In-Law friends, lol. We’re paying for this by ourselves and it seems like for every No from my friends we get, I get 3 Yes from her friends. I’m picturing my wedding filled with old people I don’t know very well, when before I pictured it as spending time with close friends and family, and my great hubby to be! Totally unrealistic, but I can’t help it. Esepcially when I only invited a couple friends.
@Lolasmomma: You hit the nail on the head. I feel like I make a real effort to be there for my friends birthdays/new jobs/promotions/weddings/baby’s. And now when it’s my turn they’re all ‘can’t come..oh well!’.
Post # 7
I just looked at your wedding date and it’s a Saturday. At first I was going to ask if maybe you were having it on a more inconvenient day (Friday or Sunday) and you’re not. My only other explanation is that maybe they have plans for Columbus Day weekend? You sent out save the dates though so their plans should be your wedding!
I’m really sorry you counted on your friends and voted for them through all the guest list trims just to be turned down. I would be tempted to ask them what the deal is but that just might make you more upset.
Post # 8
I know how you feel. I got a few no RSVPs as well and just this week three people who already RSVPed yes told me they can’t make it any more. It did make me a bit sad and annoyed. But then I found out a friend of mine, who is coming from the west coast, will only be in town for a day so he can attend my wedding. He’s taking the red eye, will arrive the morning of and then fly back the next day. It really touched me that he would do that since I wasn’t expecting him to come unless he was going to stay for a few days and we haven’t talked in a while. But his effort to come to my wedding made me think about appreciating the people who will be there to share my special day with and enjoying it with them.
Post # 9
@AnneTossy: First big hugs..Its your wedding day and you have every right to be upset if they are fairly close friends and you expected yes-es from them IMO..:) bc I know I would do whatever it takes if a friend was getting married…
I feel the exact same right now but with my shower. Its next weekend and barely anyone can come. It stings a little..Esp when shower is in town and wedding is 8 hours away..Ha no one will come to that if they cant make a local shower…
PM me if you wanna commiserate, lol
Post # 11
I totally understand!! We have been dealing with the same thing!!!