(Closed) Bummed but not bummed (other post messed up!)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
2759 posts
Sugar bee

Wow… two years?! You are a stronger woman than I, that’s for sure! I don’t handle distance well. The longest we’ve been apart is a full summer break, so about 3 months. That was early on in our relationship, so it sucked but wasn’t torturous like the month and a half we were separated last summer.

I’m gearing up for a little LDR action soon, though. We’re trying to move to Massachusetts to be closer to his family (grandma’s health is rapidly declining and the job market there is SO much better than here), but are thinking the best way to go about it would be for him to find a job and move first then me follow around September once I get a few things finished up here. But anytime I get feeling bad about that, I’ll just think of you and two years and remind myself it’s not actually bad.

That program in India sounds amazing!

Post # 7
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Hmm that is really tough. The first 5 years of my relationship with Fiance were long distance (I knew him for about 1.5 years before we started dating when we did live in the same area), but we saw each other at least every 2 months. 2 years is crazy long, I know my grandparents must have done it though while the men were away fighting in the war.

Post # 9
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

One year was the longest, but that was forced due to a deployment.  After that, 10 months was the longest.  No way in hades could I have ever done 2 years.

Post # 12
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Wow the longest I went was 6 weeks and it’s the hardest thing I ever had to do! How many times/how many days total have you seen each other in person?

Post # 13
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just make sure you spend some time together (like 6+ months) before you get married. There was just a post recently from a LDR bride that now she is married realized she didn’t really understand the daily rythms of her Darling Husband life and wasn’t sure she could live with it.

PS- I don’t know how much your SO is planning on spending or how expensive the trip would be but I’d be pissed if my SO would rather buy a more expensive car than see me.

Post # 15
515 posts
Busy bee

We’re both military so things are a little complicated for us. Last year, I went 8 months before seeing him in September. Then saw him a month later in October. Both of those times it was for 3.5 days. Then saw him for 7 days in December and he proposed the night before my last day there. Now we won’t be seeing each other for a year, when we get married. If it’s possible, I’m going to try to take midtour leave so we can do a courthouse wedding to start our paperwork with the military and then have the ceremony/reception in a year as currently planned. I’d really like to do the second option, because then hopefully the military will have our orders ready so we can be stationed together right away. If I don’t get midtour leave, then after our wedding in a year, it could be up to another year before we’re finally together.

It’s hard, but we both have our jobs so we stay pretty busy and the time seems to go a little quicker. It sucks to not see them for so long, but keeping busy makes you ‘forget’ in a way. You still miss them but when you’re on the go, you can’t really think about it. I definitely feel you. I just think of the quote “the longer the waiting, the sweeter the kiss” and it helps me get by when I’m having a really bad day.

ETA: We haven’t hit 2 years yet, but depending on me getting midtour leave, it’s pretty probable that we’ll end up spending 2013 apart as well. If that’s the case, we’ll have seen each other probably about 30 days total from January 2011 to an unknown time in 2013.

Post # 16
556 posts
Busy bee

i agree with @mmsva. my good friend dated her guy. they got married. he was military and he immediately shipped off and spent two years overseas in asia. she would visit him but she was based in US for work so the beginning of their marriage was LD. 

when he was done w/military he came back and they found themselves in the same house for the first time and weren’t compatible and fought a lot. in less than a yr after living together they were separated then divorced. 

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