(Closed) Bummed out by lack of RSVP "accept"

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

A couple of things to think about:

– maybe if FI’s mother opposes the wedding and his extended family knows about it, that could be playing into why more of them aren’t coming? They don’t want to get embroiled in family disagreement or be seen as “taking sides”? No clue if this is really happening, just throwing out a possibility.

– Do you guys have a “wish list” (i.e. your B list of people you wanted to invite but had to cut)? If you can extend some extra invitations now that you have firm declines from your first round of invitations, you might be able to boost your numbers a bit.

Post # 5
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@JaneDomani:  Make some  new RSVP cards at home, don’t worry about them matching exactly, they can be very simple.

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

If you’re concerned about it, is there any feasible way to add a digit to the R.s.v.p. date on the invitation/response card so that it reads Sept. “18” or something like that?

Post # 8
Member
1475 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I just wanted to say sorry you’re going through this and hugs! I hope that regardless of guest attendance you have a beautiful ceremony and a fun reception.

Post # 9
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We had about half of our invited guests attend (about 90 of the 165 invited).  I was actually pretty happy that less people attended, because I’m not fond of large crowds.  Less people to feed I suppose (trying to look at the bright side).  One person I really wanted to attend (my aunt) did not because she is fighting with my father.  I was pretty bummed about that. 

Post # 10
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Awww, I’m sorry you aren’t getting as many Yes’s as you hoped.  I’m in the same boat.  It looks like about 1/3 of our guests won’t be able to make it.  So I get how much it sucks and how disappointing it is.  But try not to take it too personally.  Maybe those people who are declining can’t afford it (unless you are someone’s accountant you really don’t know the state of their finances).  Or maybe they just can’t get the time off of work.

Also, you still have a month to go, so maybe you’ll be able to cut down on things or return stuff (such as booze or centerpieces).  That will help you save money.  Then you can use that extra money on something else.  Are there any extras that you’ve been wanting but didn’t do because of budget?  For example, if we have a lower turnout, we might upgrade the bar or have extra apps or I might get my champagne toast.

Oh, and don’t worry about the length of the reception – I’m sure people will want to party just as long!  I’m guessing that with a smaller wedding, most people coming will know each other (or at least lots of other people) and will want to hang out longer.  I only leave weddings early when I don’t know anyone and get a little bored.  But if I know people I’m more likely to have a good time and stay to the end!

Post # 11
Member
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am also sorry that you are going through this.. and I feel horrible for your Fiance.

I really hope that you two have a beautiful day and end up happy with the results at the end of the day  hugs

Post # 12
Member
1252 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@JaneDomani:  You can probably return the booze!  Contact your florist, it’s still a month out, you should be able to reduce the number of centerpieces.  I don’t think a smaller wedding will be any less fun or any more likely to end early, but I am sorry that your FI’s family members aren’t able to make it.   Are there any others that you would have liked to invited but didn’t – coworkers, newer friends, etc?

Post # 13
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

A small wedding isn’t that bad. We had 48 at ours and had a truly fabulous day! We paid for our wedding and had little financial help overall so we were never going to have hundreds there, plus, who actually knows that many people well enough to invite them to a wedding? I would pissed though if I were you, you know that those who actually turn up are real friends. I hope it all works out. 

Post # 14
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Honestly, I don’t think you’re too late for the B list. A friend sent me an e-mail yesterday for their September 21st wedding- they had a lot of family decline, and can now invite more friends. Ironically, this was couple was on OUR B-list, but we didn’t get to invite them.

And we accepted with pleasure- anyone who’s been through the process knows that the invite list is the toughest part. This will be the second wedding I’ve been to as a B-list guest, and I’m not offended at all… after our recent wedding, I’m looking forward to going to one and just having fun!

Like PPs suggested- make new RSVP cards on your home computer- or get them printed at Staples, etc. Or call/email people. Any single friends who might want a plus one?

Post # 15
Member
986 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I feel your pain.   Out of 111 we have 37 accept and 63 decline.  πŸ™

 

 

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