Post # 1
Saturday Mr. Bananas tells me he is going to have to take some business trips in April – not during the week, as per usual, but on the weekends. This presents a bit of a problem since its like 2 weeks till April, and we’ve already made plans for several weekends, including a trip to DC with friends, and my mom coming to visit us in Virginia for the first time since I moved down here in September. He says don’t worry, I won’t have to go to all the trips. I ask him if he can maybe go to 2 (the one unplanned weekend and one of the weekends my mom is here). Today he comes home and says he is going to 3 business trips, each of which turn out to be 4 days each, Thursday-Sunday, but that one is in DC and maybe I can come there on the weekend to see him at night.
Now, this is not a position where he travels a lot. I am MAD that his company couldn’t plan this out more than 2 weeks from the first trip and am pissed off that now I basically won’t see him for 1/2 of April and have to reschedule plans we already made. I’m sorry, I know it’s work, but don’t take away our weekends – our only real time to see eachother – on two weeks notice. And, I am mad at him for just going along with it and never telling them that it SUCKS to not plan business trips ahead of time – because they ALWAYS do this!
Rrrrrrr. I know I should be supportive because it isn’t really his fault, but I am peeved.
Post # 3
He might have to go along with it because it’s his job.
Maybe they’re giving him more responsibility. I know it sucks- I have to travel a lot for my job too. But he has a job. That’s a good thing. Just suck it up as best you can- vent here and to your friends, but try to be supportive and nice to him. He can’t help that his office is doing things at the last minute.
Post # 4
I run into some of the same feelings a lot, too, when my Fiance has to work late. Sometimes he stops after midnight. I try to always be upset WITH HIM that he has to work so much, and not upset AT HIM for missing out on time with me.
But what’s up with the weekend trips? What sorts of work is going on during the weekend? Does this mean he works less that week to make up for working over the weekend?
I know what it’s like to feel one way and know better… I think most all of us do. I’m not sure what else to say without knowing more about what he does and why these trips would be on such short notice (a point you already made!). What would ever happen if he had to decline a trip because he was previously committed to other plans?
I’m sorry to hear this. Hopefully this is a very rare occurance for you two.
Post # 5
Ugh, I am so sorry! I would definitely be frustrated too… I can definitely sympathize, because my FI’s company has a lot of higher-ups who are single/uninvolved, and so they’ve done a bunch of crappy things like scheduling company events on Valentine’s day evening (WTF???), and they never invite spouses/FI’s to company events.
I don’t know what field your Fiance is in, but these are tough times in a lot of fields, and he may not feel like it’s wise for him to appear "difficult." Maybe if the economic situation were more secure, he would feel alright about standing up for himself and his personal time. If there were ever a time to bend over backwards for your job, it’s right about now.
And on the positive side, the fact that they’re sending him on all these trips may mean that they trust him and think very highly of him, and that’s very good for his job security & career advancement. I mean, it still sucks that they’re not giving him adequate warning, but maybe it at least means good things.
Anyway, I’m sorry and I hope you find a good way to work around it.
Post # 6
Thanks, all, for your support.
It is often helpful to her things that I know to be true from other people. Mr. B is in the car industry, so, yeah – times are tough, and in no way could I support us if he didn’t have that job. That’s also the reason for his weekend trips – more people buy cars on weekends, so in order to analyze what makes people ultimately decide to not buy a car (which is what he is working on) they have to go on weekends.
Part of the issue for sure is that his boss is single-ish – dating someone, but they’re not super serious or living together, and the other three analysts on his team are also single and young.
I sat down and talked to him and explained that I wanted him to know that my annoyance was directed at the situation, not at him and he seemed understanding and receptive. Really, he is a great guy, willing to do whatever to try to fix it. Since we’ve mutually aggreed that it is a sucky situation and a kind of sucky thing for his boss to do, I feel a lot better.
Once again, thanks all 🙂