(Closed) but he is my only son…..

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7300 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Have you Fiance deal with it. You do not want to start a toxic relationship with your Future Mother-In-Law. I could see if she was paying for the entire thing, but she’s not. I would ask her what she would like to be a part of, but I would leave bringing up the other stuff to your Fiance. 

Post # 4
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t have any advice or experience, I just wanted to say that I feel for you! HUGS!

Post # 5
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

ugh annoying – i agree with tattoo on this one – let the Fiance deal with it

Post # 7
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I had to do a double take because this is my FMIL! She is driving me up the wall. I feel like I’m actually living the movie Monster In Law. Let the FH deal with it but also make sure you stand your ground, this is YOUR wedding.

Post # 8
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Maybe you could point out that he’s going to be your only husband. Smile

Post # 9
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Tell her this is YOUR only wedding. Assuming she was married at some point, she got her wedding. But I agree, he should say something. She would probably listen to him and sounds like she might resent you if you had the conversation.

Post # 11
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t get sarcastic or catty with her. Just let him be the one to handle her straight from the get-go. That way you’re not put on the spot, she’s not offended, and you can have a surface but amicable relationship. 😉

Post # 12
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would let it slide, and try to be as reasonable as possible with her. I mean, the lady is dying.

Post # 13
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When men are the only children of single mothers, they should have to wear warning signs. I’m in your boat too, my friend!

I think your situation is so difficult, because of her illness. My heart goes out to you and your FH. It’s tough, an awful situation, and yeah – totally unfair. Maybe you could sit down with her and ask her what her most important wishes are – her top three – and let her have what she really wants, within reason? Be it a special dance with her son, a special dessert, etc?

 

Post # 14
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

my Future Sister-In-Law said this about my fiance!!! “but he’s my only brother, this is my only chance to plan a wedding” even though she was just married last year!

Post # 15
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@yassim that’s just ridiculous!

Post # 16
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

Maybe say each time in response to “he’s my only son” something like “thank you, I’m so happy he’s going to be my only husband” only not so clunky as that.

I find with people like this, it’s no use to try to reason with them. There’s no line of logical reasoning that you could present that’s going to make them change their mind; they’re being guided by emotion, and that’s based on a lot of things that you just can’t change. Decide on doing something fair, and then patiently and calmly state what that is whenever the topic comes up. Yes, it’ll be a lot of repitition, but if you try to come up with something new to try to convince her, you’ll end up exausting yourself.

 

Of course I’m assuming worst case scenario from your post. You might not have things to that extent.

 

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