(Closed) but he is my only son…..

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 7
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I had to do a double take because this is my FMIL! She is driving me up the wall. I feel like I’m actually living the movie Monster In Law. Let the FH deal with it but also make sure you stand your ground, this is YOUR wedding.

Post # 8
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Maybe you could point out that he’s going to be your only husband. Smile

Post # 9
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Tell her this is YOUR only wedding. Assuming she was married at some point, she got her wedding. But I agree, he should say something. She would probably listen to him and sounds like she might resent you if you had the conversation.

Post # 10
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

View original reply
@dmcanespy: yes!!

Post # 11
Member
3253 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Don’t get sarcastic or catty with her. Just let him be the one to handle her straight from the get-go. That way you’re not put on the spot, she’s not offended, and you can have a surface but amicable relationship. 😉

Post # 12
Member
2545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would let it slide, and try to be as reasonable as possible with her. I mean, the lady is dying.

Post # 13
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

When men are the only children of single mothers, they should have to wear warning signs. I’m in your boat too, my friend!

I think your situation is so difficult, because of her illness. My heart goes out to you and your FH. It’s tough, an awful situation, and yeah – totally unfair. Maybe you could sit down with her and ask her what her most important wishes are – her top three – and let her have what she really wants, within reason? Be it a special dance with her son, a special dessert, etc?

 

Post # 14
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

my Future Sister-In-Law said this about my fiance!!! “but he’s my only brother, this is my only chance to plan a wedding” even though she was just married last year!

Post # 15
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@yassim that’s just ridiculous!

Post # 16
Member
206 posts
Helper bee

Maybe say each time in response to “he’s my only son” something like “thank you, I’m so happy he’s going to be my only husband” only not so clunky as that.

I find with people like this, it’s no use to try to reason with them. There’s no line of logical reasoning that you could present that’s going to make them change their mind; they’re being guided by emotion, and that’s based on a lot of things that you just can’t change. Decide on doing something fair, and then patiently and calmly state what that is whenever the topic comes up. Yes, it’ll be a lot of repitition, but if you try to come up with something new to try to convince her, you’ll end up exausting yourself.

 

Of course I’m assuming worst case scenario from your post. You might not have things to that extent.

 

Post # 17
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Ouch! I feel for you my first Mother-In-Law was a nightmare…there are no words. This time around my Future Mother-In-Law is like a mom and bestfriend to me. IMO the relationship with the in-laws is extremly important but that is my subjective opinion. I could not marry and have kids with a man if I was not really a valued member of the family, family, culture and tradition are things I learned the hard that I can not compromise on.

Post # 18
Member
2656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hope it all works out.

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