Post # 1
I really really really do not want any kids at our wedding. It never fails that as soon as a couple start saying there vows to one another kids start screaming and crying. I want to save myself the headache and just have a no kid ceremony. (I’m thinking no one under the age of 12?) Also, during receptions there are running around crazy and guest seem to always be having to look out for them. I have decided there will be no kids at our wedding. I honestly could not careless if some people do not attend our wedding because of it. I know the ones that truly care about witnessing our wedding would be there no matter what, plus it is our day. We are our number one priority on that day, and we should be blissfully happy. Not annoyed because so and so is not making their child behave.
With that rant being said. All of Fiance family is out of state. The closest relative being 7 hours away. Only two of his family members have small children. One being is sister that will also be one of my bridesmaids. At the time of the wedding her child will be about 17 months old. He also has a cousin who has a baby that will be about 2 i think at the time of the wedding. Fiance brought up the fact that they live so far away that they will need to bring their children. It is not like my family that will be at most 45 mins away from their kids. What if something happens and they need to get to the children in a hurry, that wouldnt be possible with one being 7 hours away and one being 13 hours.
I really want to just allow his sisters child because I’m not inviting the cousins childs father so he should be able to keep the kid, and the cousin doesnt have to be there for the Fiance to be happy. Do you think my family would be mad if I allowed his sister to bring her child but not my family members?
How would yall feel about this? Im just so confused as what to do…
Post # 3
I can see that people would be a little annoyed, but hopefully they understand if they know the reasoning behind it. However, it does feel strange to allow the sisters kid but not the cousins / can’t they bring their kids with them, but arrange for a babysitter for the ceremony and reception? This is something that you could perhaps help them with.
Post # 4
I totally understand where you’re at. I didn’t wnat children at my wedding and don’t want to offend any of my friends with children. I love my friends’ kids but I don’t want to deal with kids running around.
Ours is also a semi-destination for mostly everyone… to make it even worse, our wedding is at disneyland. I have decided to do what the PP suggested. I’m setting up babysitting for the kids but only during the ceremony. Could you work that out somehow… I think it’s easier to do this if you’re having a destination wedding because you’ll have a central location to put all the bebes at.
Post # 5
Your asking a mother to leave her 17 mos old child at home just cause your not inviting it’s father and she should be ok with that.
I could see where there would be a problem. Perhaps you could extend the invite to children who are from Out of Town ? that way your family won’t feel… slighted?
Post # 6
I picked and chose what kids I allowed to come. I see nothing wrong allowing immediate family to bring their children and no one else.
Post # 7
I would provide babysitting for your sister-in-law somewhere at the venue.
Post # 8
@FutureMrsBess: I see nothing wrong with it but I notice on this topic the bees are usually either for it or against it. My Fiance are doing this and we decided that we don’t care bc nobody that we are very close to has kids or would want to bring them.
Also, I know people suggest babysitters at the venue. I asked my venue and they said no. The kids are either invited and paid for or will not be in the building. I was happy about it bc it makes no sense to me. I dont personally know ANYONE who has never gone out without their kids. If you can find a babysitter for something else then why should I have to accomodate your child or find you a babysitter?
Do what you and your Fiance feel works for your wedding.
Post # 9
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@FutureMrsBess: Allow them but see if they will allow you to provde them with a sitter in a roomd separate from the reception. Also, make sure they know ahead of time that you want them to have a plan for whena nd if their child starts crying or screaming during the ceremony.
Post # 10
We are having a childfree wedding – with the exception of niece and nephews of us. So my niece is 11 and a junior bridesmaid, my nephew is 5 and the ringbearer and his sister just had a baby who will be 4 months at the time of the wedding. I know my sister-in-law will control my neice and nephew. His sister is going to have her in-laws come to the church to take the baby out if she starts fussing.
I think that it is somewhat common for childfree weddings to include children that are directly related (i.e. neices/nephews or the children of the couple)
Post # 11
@MrsWBS: + @krstino1012: +1
Due to space and large families, we only invited our neices/nephews and then any first cousins that were still young (I had 5 of them between 4-12 in age). So in essence we were selective. It was even written on the other invitations that we were requesting an adult reception. By that time I was so over it, I really didn’t mind if people were upset, and I didn’t hear anything negative passed on from it. I hoped distant family and friends would understand and it seemed like most/all did.
Post # 12
I see nothing wrong with only allowing children of immediate family. They will have grandparents there to help look after them. If any of your immediate family has kids, you should discuss with them, to see if any hurt feelings.