(Closed) But I do not want kids….(long)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I can see that people would be a little annoyed, but hopefully they understand if they know the reasoning behind it. However, it does feel strange to allow the sisters kid but not the cousins / can’t they bring their kids with them, but arrange for a babysitter for the ceremony and reception? This is something that you could perhaps help them with.

Post # 4
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I totally understand where you’re at. I didn’t wnat children at my wedding and don’t want to offend any of my friends with children. I love my friends’ kids but I don’t want to deal with kids running around.

Ours is also a semi-destination for mostly everyone… to make it even worse, our wedding is at disneyland. I have decided to do what the PP suggested. I’m setting up babysitting for the kids but only during the ceremony. Could you work that out somehow… I think it’s easier to do this if you’re having a destination wedding because you’ll have a central location to put all the bebes at.

 

Post # 5
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your asking a mother to leave her 17 mos old child at home just cause your not inviting it’s father and she should be ok with that.

I could see where there would be a problem.  Perhaps you could extend the invite to children who are from Out of Town ?  that way your family won’t feel… slighted?

Post # 6
Member
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I picked and chose what kids I allowed to come. I see nothing wrong allowing immediate family to bring their children and no one else.  

Post # 7
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would provide babysitting for your sister-in-law somewhere at the venue. 

Post # 8
Member
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@FutureMrsBess:  I see nothing wrong with it but I notice on this topic the bees are usually either for it or against it. My Fiance are doing this and we decided that we don’t care bc nobody that we are very close to has kids or would want to bring them.

Also, I know people suggest babysitters at the venue. I asked my venue and they said no. The kids are either invited and paid for or will not be in the building. I was happy about it bc it makes no sense to me. I dont personally know ANYONE who has never gone out without their kids. If you can find a babysitter for something else then why should I have to accomodate your child or find you a babysitter? 

Do what you and your Fiance feel works for your wedding.

Post # 9
Member
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@FutureMrsBess:  Allow them but see if they will allow you to provde them with a sitter in a roomd separate from the reception.  Also, make sure they know ahead of time that you want them to have a plan for whena nd if their child starts crying or screaming during the ceremony.

Post # 10
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

We are having a childfree wedding – with the exception of niece and nephews of us.  So my niece is 11 and a junior bridesmaid, my nephew is 5 and the ringbearer and his sister just had a baby who will be 4 months at the time of the wedding.  I know my sister-in-law will control my neice and nephew.  His sister is going to have her in-laws come to the church to take the baby out if she starts fussing.

I think that it is somewhat common for childfree weddings to include children that are directly related (i.e. neices/nephews or the children of the couple)

Post # 11
Member
1623 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MrsWBS:   + @krstino1012:  +1

Due to space and large families, we only invited our neices/nephews and then any first cousins that were still young (I had 5 of them between 4-12 in age).  So in essence we were selective.  It was even written on the other invitations that we were requesting an adult reception.  By that time I was so over it, I really didn’t mind if people were upset, and I didn’t hear anything negative passed on from it.  I hoped distant family and friends would understand and it seemed like most/all did.

Post # 12
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I see nothing wrong with only allowing children of immediate family.  They will have grandparents there to help look after them.  If any of your immediate family has kids, you should discuss with them, to see if any hurt feelings.

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