- 8 years ago
My step-cousin got engaged after a three month courtship with some guy she knew distantly back in high school (14 years ago). The guy has done nothing but mooch off of my step-cousin and have emotional affairs behind her back. Yet, she’s still forging on with the wedding plans. She’s been so annoying and insensitive, and just plain uncouth in her wedding planning process, that I am completely turned off to having anything to do with any of it.
My great-aunt (step-cousin’s stepmom) had a cancer remission shortly after step-cousin got engaged. Step-cousin still expected my aunt and my cousins to focus entirely on her wedding during the time my aunt was going through operations and chemo. She was complaining that she was no longer going to be able to hold the reception in my aunt and uncle’s backyard (because my aunt is too sick to host a wedding) and that no one was planning to cook for her reception anymore. Step-cousin also threw a fit that her Flower Girl would be wearing white, and would “steal her thunder”.
Throughout her entire six month engagement (putting her getting married after less than a year of being with this guy), step-cousin has posted very rude FB statuses. “You have until the 29th to get your RSVPs out, or don’t expect a seat or food at the wedding!” And, “M and I are registered at Wal-Mart and Target, in case you want to get us a gift. We really need a lot of the items were registered for.” She posts those two statuses DAILY. I am not kidding.
So, today, step-cousin texted me asking for my address (which I already gave her twice for other things) because she says my aunt is throwing her a shower. I do NOT want to go. I don’t really have the money to buy her a gift, and frankly, I don’t want to! I also don’t want to go to her wedding, either. She was very rude to me because I didn’t send back the RSVP card (I lost it) but confirmed that I’d be coming to her wedding by mouth. Keep in mind, this is not a very formal wedding. Hardly anyone has RSVP’d to attend. I’m going to assume there will be around 30 people tops, because of step-cousin’s poor etiquette, or lack thereof. They’re not having a caterer, so it’s not like they’re paying $100 PP for food or anything. Someone is cooking for the wedding, and I’m assuming it’ll just be finger foods in the church rec room.
I just feel like step-cousin has been completely rude about her wedding. I don’t believe she should be getting married due to the way her Fiance treats her. Therefore, I don’t support the marriage. I am not happy about it. I dread going. Like I said, I can’t afford gifts. She will definitely be expecting them for both the shower AND the wedding. Also, I’ve recently discovered that due to budget constraints, I won’t be able to invite that whole leg of my family to my wedding. I know if I go to hers, she will expect an invite to mine.
I know that it is frowned upon to tell someone you’re going to be at their wedding and not show. I would NEVER do that if someone was paying a ton of money to feed me. But, I probably wouldn’t even eat at my step-cousin’s wedding, anyway. I haven’t gotten an invite to the shower, yet, so I’m thinking I’m going have “something to do” that day, or something. If she gets mad, oh well, I just feel like she’s been extremely gift-grabby and what’s the point in taking the time to sit through an awkward shower and spend money on a gift if the marriage isn’t really based on anything solid, anyway?