(Closed) But why didn’t you invite X&Y and A&B and C&D and and and?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Email her back saying something like “Sorry Aunt Sally, but unfortunately we cannot accommodate Cousin Sandy and Cousin Steve.  Hope to see you at the wedding!”  Do not give any reason, she may turn around and try to argue it (like offering to pay, asking if they can come if someone else decines, etc.)  Just say no.  Politely but firmly.  Repeat when necessary.

Post # 4
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@futuremrsfitz18:  Agree.


OP:  . 

Or if you want and excuses say. Fiance and I could not invite all our family members for more than price of plate purposes and can’t make exceptions for one side of the family and not the other. We make the choice to stand by it with no if, and, or buts to one another. Sorry it’s not up for reasoning I expect the same from him if his family has questions.  

Post # 5
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@futuremrsfitz18:  Exactly.

I’m inviting only one of thirteen cousins- the only one I’ve seen in the past 5 years (all the rest are 6+hours away), the only one on my Christmas card list.

They’ll have plenty of weddings of people close to them that they can go to. 🙂

Post # 6
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Otulyssa:  I think that may be a little too strongly worded for a family member who actually sounds like they’re trying to be considerate by offering to pay for the plate. I’d say something like: Dear Aunt Sally, thank you for your gracious offer to try to help include Cousin Steve and Cousin Sue in our wedding; unfortunately, our venue has space and equipment limitations that force us into very strict guest list counts, and while we would love to see our cousins, we simply cannot accomodate them. 

Post # 8
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@futuremrsfitz18:  yup!

Giving a reason is just going to open up your decision for debate and a “solution.”  “I’m sorry, that’s just not possible.  We hope you’ll still be able to join us.” is a really good line.  Then end the conversation quickly!

Post # 9
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@futuremrsfitz18:  AGREE.


We had to do the same thing. We are having a very small wedding and have been quite selective about who is invited. My FI’s Aunts/Cousins he never sees were bugging us about not being invited, and we told them pretty much the same thing futuremrsfitz stated. Just say something like that 🙂

Post # 10
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree that you shouldn’t give them a reason… you don’t have to!  Just tell them it’s not possible to have the cousins there, and leave it at that.


The topic ‘But why didn’t you invite X&Y and A&B and C&D and and and?’ is closed to new replies.

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