(Closed) but you could help pay for something else?

posted 8 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

oh that’s super annoying.  personally, i’ve never gotten the engraved toasting flutes/cake cutter phenomena- especially because i, like you, think it is a needless expense.  i don’t know how you could graciously decline, though.  maybe let Fiance handle this one?

Post # 4
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee

If they haven’t bought the set, you can tell them. If not, suck it up. They’d feel incredibly hurt if you don’t like their gift and you’d rather have money. I do feel your frustration though.

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I would just suck it up. If it’s important to them that you have it (which it must be since they’re spending so much), I wouldn’t want to hurt their feelings.

Post # 6
Member
610 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I know it’s not your personal taste, but I think you could be hurting your Father-In-Law feelings if you ask for something else.  If it were me, I’d just smile and say thank you.

Post # 7
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

How frustrating! However, if Future Mother-In-Law is asking you point blank what they can help with, I’d be honest.  I’d say “We appreciate everything you have done so far.  If you want to help with something else, we still owe X amount on our flowers and the DJ.  Are you interested in helping out with either of those?” Chances are they do want to really help, maybe they just aren’t sure what you need.

Post # 8
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would just tell them again that you already have one and that you “LOVE” it.  I don’t know how to ask them to pay for something else though.  Maybe if you just said something like we are getting close to the end and money is getting close….we still have so much to pay for. Do you think they might then say oh what can we help with and you could suggest something?

 

Post # 9
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

The cake cutter is a gift. Accept it graciously. It sounds like your future in laws are excited to have you join the family! As far as her asking what she can pay for, I say be honest. You can tell her the expenses you still need covered but explain that you in no way expect them to cover these but that if they really want to help those are the areas you still have to cover. I think your future in laws just want you to have a wonderful wedding and help put you in the best situation to start your marriage.

Post # 10
Member
654 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Since she’s asking what she can pay for, tell her!

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