Post # 1
As of last night, this all seems so real! We entered into contract on a home , I am excited, but still REALLY nervous. I am going to be a wife (again) and a stepmom. I love my Fiance, and I know he would NEVER do what my ex did to me, but I can’t help being scared. I was SERIOUSLY burned by my ex husband. How do I try to move past those feelings of fear?
I sat on FI’s lap last night and talked to him about how these fears are really coming up. He gets it, he was burned by his wife too. I know we will be awesome together, and it will be OK, but I also hope I won’t spend the next 2 months with constant butterflies and not being able to sleep 🙁 Thanks for reading, I just needed to say it.
Post # 3
I totally understand how you are feeling and it is completely normal!! My fiance and I both have been married before and because of that, I think we have a better idea of what we stand to lose if that makes sense. I have always said I learned more about what it takes to make a marriage work by going through a divorce than I could have ever learned otherwise. I think that risk of failure seems that much more real when you have gone through a divorce and so your worries and anxieties are heightened. Just remind yourself that this is your first marriage to each other and that you are with someone who loves you and understands you better than anyone.
Post # 4
After my divorce I went to a class offered by a local church called Divorce Care – they have a web site with lots of resources. The class absolutely changed my life – it was AMAZING!!! They taught m that It’s a process of healing, not just a switch flip. After I took the class, I taught it myself.
PM me is you’d like more info on the class or anything else!
Hang in there!!
Post # 5
(((Big Hugs))) I’m not an Encore bride myself but I just wanted to stop in and give you a hug and say that it’s great that you can talk to your Fiance about your butterflies! 🙂
Post # 6
I know how you feel and for advice you just need to be completely honest with your FH about your fears/butterflies. It’s okay to say you’re scared, that’s where he’s suppossed to come in and tell you everything is going to be alright and he loves you. Trust in someone close to you is really hard, especially when you have been really burned. You need to realize this is a different person and you said so yourself that he wouldn’t treat you the same way. Believe in him as much as you can and kee your eyes on the prize – a happy relationship for the rest of your life. Good luck!
Post # 7
That’s totally normal. You want to never go down that path again..and you won’t. You’re not with the same person, we learned from our past, and we’ve moved onward and upward!
I get that way sometimes too. In fact for the first 2 years after divorcing I didn’t even really want to date b/c I felt wierd and was afraid I’d meet somebody like him again.
Instead I met the opposite..somebody loving, caring, and UNDERSTANDING above all. Somebody who takes my feelings into consideration. Granted, they both have dark hair, blue eyes, and are tall and well built, but that’s where any similarity stops. They are totally different and I love T in a way I never thought I’d love a guy (with the exception of my son whom I love of course differently).
Instead of worrying what might happen again, focus on WHAT IS DIFFERENT and why your Fiance is the right guy..what are the right things that will be the perfect mixture of a relationship because you two are going the distance!!!